confused

dancertori

some of you may have seen my pregnancy announcement, if not, so I'm pregnant, thats where this gets confusing. ive never had sex.

so yes the baby was conceived from rape. same as my first baby, (who i lost at 18 weeks pregnant). i seem to attract rapists, my father, my middle older brother, a freinds brother, and now my youngest older sister. thats where things get tricky, the 3 guys were all in the past, i no longer have contact with them, but my sister, my babys other parent, its bad enough the first baby was my fathers, now this one being my sister.

So last year my brother came out as trans, so is now my sister, it wasnt easy but i supported her, i went doctors with her to speak to them about HRT, i talked sense into one of our other siblings when they couldnt accept her as a girl. and in return she starts to rape me, now im carriying her child, and its getting harder and harder to accept her. by the time baby is borni should have moved out and been able to cut contact, she doesnt know the baby is hers, and she wont know, for now i still have to face the abuse, that aside i just cant get my head around the male female thing with this, im nrmally super understanding but just cant.

JustV

Sorry @dancertori - came across this about to reply and realised it was from last month!

Firstly I want to acknowledge how harrowing this whole thing must be. It's incredibly kind of you to really vouch for your sister and support them so well, when actually that can be quite intimidating when you know people around you have opposing views. To then be raped by that very person... I can't even imagine what that must be like to go through, especially given your previous experiences with family members. For what it's worth, you're incredibly brave to be talking about it openly and getting support.

Are you getting any support with the rape itself or the subsequent pregnancy right now? I know the end of your post was focused around the male/female confusion, but I didn't want to touch on that without also exploring whether you're getting the support you need for this. If you covered this in another thread, I apologise, but did you recieve any counselling for the baby you lost previously?

that aside i just cant get my head around the male female thing with this, im nrmally super understanding but just cant.

This is more than understandable, Tori. Especially given everything else you must be processing on an emotional and mental level, being able to also come to terms with a relative being trans and how that all relates to the other stuff is a lot to ask of someone. It's okay that it's confusing - it doesn't mean you're not understanding or supportive by nature; you definitely are those things.

If you don't mind me asking: what's your living situation at the moment? Are you safe where you are?