Facing Fears

Former Member

Hi I just wanted to thank the lovely people in the support chat tonight   I'm updating you on the suggestions that you did with facing my fears.

I'm afraid to go to the loo at night because doors and 'the journey to the loo' triggers my flashbacks and hallucinations/intrusions. The grounding exercise of thinking you're in the now was very difficult for me. I'm also afraid that someone is coming after me now.

So I tried going to my safe space. It did work but I need to see how it progresses. I keep losing my concentration. I will keep trying this and see how it goes. I've also noticed previously that making decisions while going through it helps, like what I am going to wear tomorrow.

Massive thanks again to the chat, it really gave me a bit of a boost (:

Do you have any fears that you'd like to share? How are you coping with it?

Past User

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Former Member

Wow how did I never googled that haha. Yes I should try that. I really need to get a different association with the doors to get the other one out.

I tried different things over the past months and I see a bit of a change. This time was nothing compared to the first few times in this house again. Over time it will go better and I can see what works and what doesn't.

I have to say that maybe I made myself more scared. At the internship, were my meltdown begun, I was also afraid to go. But I pushed to find triggers. I realised after a major flashback that I got more answers and questions. Putting me in these situations made so much clear to me. I've been looking for points that give me emotions, then I write down the cause and trigger behind it, how it made me feel.

I have mixed feelings (ha ha the mix), I want to get rid of the fears but I need them to understand what happend. It's getting more difficult to get these emotions and I'm afraid it too far gone when I finally get treatment.

Fun fact; the toilet is actually also my real safe space. It's where I go and hide, be on my own. Always has been. So maybe I can try to change the way I think about it as in 'going to safe space' instead of 'quick, hide'.

Great that it worked, love that idea from your mum! You don't have feelings of fear on the stairs anymore? How long did it take you to make a change?

My fears tend to sprint towards me haha :')

Past User

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Former Member

You have a good point there. There are other fears to explore than this one. If I can change my view on it then it will help me sleep better. I'll give it a go.

I also thought those things as a kid haha. I just realised that the reason I think it's so difficult for me to invision that there is nothing there, is because many of my feelings/thoughts came true.

The last thing is really helpful, I'll show them who's crazy. Thank you!

Past User

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Former Member

Omg, I just went. I tried to think, kind of worked. I felt the fear lingering in the background. I was back in my room and whilst closing the door it made a sound and I thought I was going to die. But back safe in my bed now haha

Basically fight or flight lol
Goodnight

Past User

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Former Member

know Im a bit late to the party with this one, but I used to get the same after my trauma with doors being shut, something that really helped me was having someone I trusted wait outside the door with me for me it was more of a feeling of being trapped I didn't like not that it triggered flashbacks, though probably would of if the door got stuck... it did trigger a few flashbacks but not in the toilet, just in rooms when someone shut the door, something that helped me conquer this was me being the one that shut the door, so I felt in control and not like someone else was trapping me, I also did and still do have to be the closest person to the door, and have to be facing it...it helps bring some comfort..

just remember you are never alone  

Former Member

@Past User I love John Mayer! That's a great perspective change, I think I can do that. Fear is there for a reason, same as nightmares; they prepare you for in case it happens. The mind does great things. Trying this new perspective tonight, see how it goes. Thankyou! My counseling will start in begin April if I count it with the average waiting time.

@Past User Taking control is a good way to face your fears then. Glad it helped you feel more at ease and find ways to help you. My friend uses the same techniques you use. I am actually not afraid of closed doors, just doors. Had some scares when a family member was behind it lol. I also go into hide and silent mode when someone stands or walks outside the door I'm behind.

Things I like to do is to also face the door, but far away as possible, with my back against a wall. Not in direct line. Maybe it's because the hallways are sort of a 'big room', I need to be in a corner in big rooms so I can see everything. Imagine my fear sitting in the middle of the gym during exams haha

Past User

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Former Member

Hi thnx!

Last night I was still afraid but I tried looking at my house as if it was my friend, someone who could protect me. So I touched the walls and talked to it. I think it went pretty well. I still was stalling to go, maybe because I'm lazy too haha.

But I'm trying the same method again tonight, it should go better the more I try it

Past User

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