Just struggling.

Laine

Hey guys I wanted to just use this to write down my toying thoughts. I don't really need any help if people can't but any hugs offered will be taken with great love

I'm really struggling lately and it's gotten to a point where it's too tiring to go on. It's hard pretending to be doing okay for everyone else.

Everything at once has got to me, the truth is. I get so lonely when the weekend comes. My partner is far away I don't really hang out with friends outside of college so I'm struggling. I message him and call when he's not busy but there are still times i'm left by myself.

My household isn't great it's really stressful as we're pretty overcrowded so weekends are not a time for relaxation.

I take happiness in the half term dates because I can get away and take a nice break at my partners but the way the Coronavirus is going I don't know if I can or should go up during the Easter and it's hurting me because it's two whole weeks I could have gone from here. And now I won't likely see him till May. 

I just don't know what to do with myself or how I'm gonna push through. 

I wish I were stronger or had a nicer life. 

I know it's unfair to say as I have good things but I have them so little it upsets me almost more in a way.

I guess I'm just struggling to see the point in anything anymore x

BubblesGoesBoo

Sending massive hugs! 

I know you said you didn't really want advice but just gonna throw my thoughts out there lol
could your partner come to you over the break?
is there any way on weekends you could get some time to yourself? like going out for a coffee and reading a good book?
the most important person here is you, I can hear you're struggling but please take some time out for yourself, is there anything you used to love doing? maybe try pick it up again.. do some self care, even just going to the library to study for some quiet time.

im the same when I feel lonely, everything starts to get worse and the thoughts become unbareable, but I have found getting out the house even just for a coffee helps
hope things start to look up for you soon! we all care about you here! 

Laine

Thanks a lot bubbles I really appreciate it.

There's no way he can unfortunately as I had to give up my double bed for my sister and niece there's nowhere for him to sleep as we're overcrowded and he has to travel by coach too which still poses a Coronavirus risk.

I know I will be okay but I'm weighing the options of if it's worth potentially risking others? And if he comes he may bring it to tm dad. 

I don't like going out alone I actually can't it feels too weird to me that's why I tend to stay in and just watch stuff over again x

Millie2787

Hey laine  

I can really relate to how your feeling right now and I just wanted to send you a massive hug 💜 Do you maybe think it’s worth popping a gist to your GP to see if anything that can be done to help you ? Even if it’s just medication sometimes that can help to get us back in the right mindset to help us tackle our way through some of the problems life can throw at us.

In terms of the not wanting to go out alone I understand that a lot to , I’m guessing you’ve heard of social anxiety ? Some ways you can help overcome that is just start with spending small amounts of time outside and building you way up to longer and longer periods of time 

Despite all of this that’s going on you are doing so so well sweet so never forget that x 

Everyone on the boards is always here for you 💕

Salix_alba_2019

I also wanted to pop by to offer some hugs, you sound like you could do with some extra squishes so I'll send them through to you via cyberspace 

Siena

Heyy!

thanks for being able to share with us!

your environment can really impact you as always around it so its hard when its stressful aswell. Your feelings are all valid even if you have good things

is going out by yourself something youd like to do? 

Its understandable of the fear of the coronovirus. 

I personally think the news is full if it to distract ys from something. Lol. But i read a load of conspiricay theories. 

Youre a lovely person and help others and dont deserve to feel tired to go on with life. Sending you lots of hugs. great you reached out to here

Laine

Thanks all

@Millie2787 I have actually heard of social anxiety its one i got diagnosed with alongside generalised anxiety and ocd a few years back.
I'm doing quite good with that i still go out and don't feel most comfortable in society but i cope well i think its more the struggle of going out alone? like i couldn't go out and get a coffee by myself it would feel weird as well as lonely.

I tend to stay in because then i can talk to someone at home i think?

As much as it sucks to not see my partner its also a struggle because thats my break? its so stressful at home thats my holiday and now i have to stay here and go back to college after it feels like my stress levels will never go down x