Need advice I'm new to this

Former Member

Hello my name is Brandon I just recently got out of a 3 year relationship with a girl ill just call K for her prvicy. I won't give you the full story because it'll take forever to type. So 2 years go by with K and happy as ever never felt love like it. One day I decided to go for my dream job so I joined the army I spend months getting into shape passed the selection and was asked when I wanted to start training so I chose the October intake so I can have a couple of months to spend with K before my life changes forever. So the day came when I went to the infantry training center in catterick and when the staff took the recrutes away for their families. The look on K's face looked like her her entire life just fell apart so I spent the first week feeling super guilty. After that I started to enjoy training make good mates and learning to become a soldier. So at week six or seven can't remember I got a back injury so I had to spend alot of time in the a commendation free WiFi so I spent that time messaging K 
She told me at one point that she was having doubts and was worried the long distance would break us so. I started writing my D.A.O.R letter to my platoon commander. (between week 4 and 12 you have tge right to leave the army. Its called discharge as of right) I told her I was doing it she told me not to. About a month later it had gone through and I was in the process of becoming a civilian. The day came for me to come home and started to spend time with K loving life. Then less then 2 weeks of being discharged she broke up with me and blocked me on everything. I threw away my dream career for my dream girl now I have nothing feels like I have no friends nobody to turn to. I didn't have many friends before going in the army because college was just full of kids and I wanted to grow up. It's been a bit over a month give or take lost track of time since this happened. And I just feel worthless nobody asked me if I'm okay. Or if I wanna hang out. Im on the tipping point of having a mental break down and I fear I may do something stupid.

I have missed some stuff out because I'm a typical guy that never opens up so I have no idea how to put my emotions into words

Former Member

I'm not completely sure how the Army works but try to go back and if you can't you need to find something you feel compassionate and care about. Find a career your interested in, look into further education or find a new hobby. Through these things you may be able to make new friends and look for the positives. It is never easy and I'm sorry you are feeling down but finding one thing you enjoy is a great start and a way to move forward. 

Thank you for reaching out on here and hope you can find the support you need. 

Former Member

Hi there @Past User and welcome to the boards. I'm really sorry to hear your story it sounds like the whole thing has really affected you and how you're feeling. I don't know too much about the inner workings of the army myself but I would imagine there'd be a way for you to try and rejoin, especially considering the personal issues you were dealing with when you left. In any case I think trying to talk about your feelings on here is a great step in the right direction, being open about your emotions can be difficult but it's always a positive thing.

You mentioned that you feel close to a mental breakdown, have you considered trying to visit your GP to talk about what you're going through? They might be able to offer you some support or at least give you some ideas and options for where to go from here. I hope you keep posting on the boards and keep us all up to date with how you're doing, we're rooting for you!