I can't eat and I can't talk about it.

HowDoYouTalkAboutIt

For a while I have been struggling to eat and it's got to the point where I can't see my self going back. Everyday is a challenge of starving myself and counting what calories I do intake. I'm surrounded by people who care about me but I can't alk to anyone about it out of fear they will force me to eat or change and I can't talk to a school counciler about it as they will just tell my parents. 

Everything I do revolves around food and calories and my weight, its all I can think about. I've tried forcing myself to eat and I just purge it back up and I hate myself for doing it and going down this path. My mind is just so foggy and everything is a blur. I've done my research and I know where this ends and I don't want it to but I just can't help myself. 

When I do eat I over exercise myself to reburn those calories and even if I don't eat I'll still esessivly over exercise. 

Lucy307

Hi @HowDoYouTalkAboutIt and welcome to the Mix 💜

I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles with eating, sounds really tough to feel that you can’t tell anyone about it. We’re here for you whenever you want to talk and will help as much as we can.

Would you be comfortable talking to Beat about how you’re feeling? They have a phone line but also web chat. https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/support-services they are specialists in eating issues so will have a lot of experience helping people who are going through the same thing. They are also confidential. 

Hope this might help but as I mentioned, we are also here for you so you don’t have to go through this alone. Sending hugs

- Lucy