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Online dating

One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 480 Rampant Poster
Has anyone had any success with online dating? I seem to get all the idiots they never seem interested in getting to know me and are more interested in talking about sex (yes, I know how careful we have to be when dating online. Which is why most if these people get blocked.) As you can imagine the amount of guys I actually end up meeting is very little and being stood up is horrible.

Sometimes I just wish I could be in one of those romantic movies where the girl ends up accidentally bumping into a stranger and they end up getting to know each other. 

Comments

  • GemmaGemma Posts: 67 Moderator
    Hi @One-in-a-million

    I'm sorry to hear you've not been having a lot of success with online dating, unfortunately it's quite common for people to just use it for sex or aren't always considerate to the person they're talking to because it's not in person. 

    I've personally tried online dating and have also had mixed results. Initially I didn't get very far meeting people but eventually met someone who I got along with very well and we dated for several months. It's understandable to want to meet someone in the typically romantic way like in the movies but I have several friends now who have met online are are now very happily married. 

    Online dating can often be very painful with a lot of up and downs but I think it can and does work for a lot of people. It might help to just be really open with what you want from online dating, whether it's a long relationship or just dating for a while and not compromise on what you're looking for. 
  • Tee ATee A Posts: 28 Cool Newbie
    Hi @One-in-a-million

    I agree with @Gemma , online dating can be dating can be difficult but I also think "honest is the best policy".

    My own experiences of online dating were very similar to yours. I then decided to be very open about what I wanted, i.e. a relationship, because other people seemed to be very open about what they wanted, i.e. sex. 

    After doing this, I noticed that it helped because I found someone who was looking for the same things as myself. 

    As a side note, I may also be cautious about what dating site you use because many are known to be used by those looking for short-term relationships.

    I hope this helped!

    Tee A :3
  • AidanAidan Potato Posts: 1,453 Fanatical Poster
    Hey!

    Have you tried any of the apps where only the woman can message first? I know bumble is one of them, but I wouldn't know any others I'm not really an expert on dating! Was thinking this might filter out some of the people who are only interested in sex?

    Is there anything you do in your free time, like hobbies and stuff? The best way to meet someone in real life if you think online might not be your thing, is pursuing hobbies or going to groups because then you at least you know you have similar interests might be more compatible than internet strangers.

    Online dating can often be very painful with a lot of up and downs but I think it can and does work for a lot of people. It might help to just be really open with what you want from online dating, whether it's a long relationship or just dating for a while and not compromise on what you're looking for. 

    My own experiences of online dating were very similar to yours. I then decided to be very open about what I wanted, i.e. a relationship, because other people seemed to be very open about what they wanted, i.e. sex. 

    I think @Gemma @Tee A give some really great advice here!

    I met my partner online, but not on a dating site! We fostered a friendship first just based on feeling like we had quite compatible personalities and interests, I'm not sure what other people's experiences are but for me at least it's great to be going out with my best friend.

    Take care! 
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 372 Moderator
    Hey @One-in-a-million <3

    I hope you're doing okay. I'm sorry that you haven't been having much success with online dating - it can be super demoralising to put yourself out there and get so little back. Like @Gemma, I've had a lot of mixed results looking for love online.

    Just recently I connected with a really amazing guy who I had a lot in common with, only for him to change his mind about wanting to pursue a relationship at the last minute. Honestly, I know how much it sucks. The odds of finding a long term relationship online seem slim, it's true, but I also think there's value in getting to know people this way anyway. It can help us figure out what it is we're really looking for in a relationship, as well as provide the opportunity to talk to people we might not necessarily approach in person. 

    Regardless, your frustration is totally valid and understandable. It's okay to take a break from looking for love if it's causing you unnecessary stress. Finding a partner should be an exciting, fun experience, not a burden. It might be a good idea to take some time out for self-care, just to regroup and throw yourself back into things once you feel better. 

    I really hope you find what you're looking for :3
  • mags98mags98 Posts: 175 Moderator
    hi @One-in-a-million

    I don't have too much experience in online dating but I did meet someone on snapchat through quick add (we had a mutual friend) and two years later we're still going strong. However about 4 years ago I added someone on quick add and we spoke for a few months and then I found out they just wanted sex. So I think it's really a hit or miss thing with online dating. You could be going months after months with no luck but then find someone or you don't find someone online but meet them in a cafe or at a park. But the same thing goes for dating in person, you can go on countless of dates before you find the right person
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 480 Rampant Poster
    Hi guys oh my gosh I didn’t realise how many of you had replied. I haven’t been online much I’m so sorry.

    I love your ideas and I will most definitely be trying these out. It’s very late now but I’ll have a proper read through tomorrow Xx 
    thank you all once again 
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