feel

ellie2000

I wanna sleep 4eva. instead of goin manic. why do depression make u wna sleep. I hear voices somedays, how do i stop them? ppl call me names and the voices get louder.

Kathleen07

Hey Ellie, it sounds like things are miserable for you, is that right? I'm here if I can do anything

I hear you on wanting to sleep forever instead of going manic, I'm really sorry you feel that way. It must feel really hurtful to have people call you names, that's wrong of them and you don't deserve that. Do you want to talk about what the voices say and how they affect you?

ellie2000

i went though the traumatic event wen i was 11, i didn't tell any1 coz i had a mouthful from relations the morning after coz the one of r__pists had my phone, there were three of them. they were taking pics, and i found out one of them insulted my mum and she was celebrating her birthday, i got tied up n left in the park n naked in the cold. i didn't get found until morning by a dog walking that was passing. i stayed quiet bcoz i got had a go at by her bf the morning after. they have families now, wen i fought back recently via txt coz i thought no-one was listening, police came, why?

the voices i hear still frm tht group, their say 'ellie, give us money to by alcohol,' they were fine at first. i found the group coz i was lonely. they sed 'via msger 'tht little c-nt need raping' they added me to their group convos i were bombarded by their msgs, they targeted me. they held a knife at me a told me to strip, and after they threw bottles and other missiles. wen i was on the floor the rest of the group left n thts when i got r__ped by three men.

my head voices project their voices n wen ppl call me names. my auditory stuff gets louder n i have flashbacks n feel uneasy

i cope by playing piano, playing red dead redemption. nd sleep.

ellie2000

i don't shower or bath somedays

ellie2000

i txt ppl nowadays with 'i got __' i dont even no y

Kathleen07

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry you went through that. It sounds horrible It must be distressing to have those voices and flashbacks. It sounds like the trauma is really haunting and affecting you, would you say that?

I play the piano too and I often don't bathe due to how I'm feeling. Do you not shower or bath because you don't feel the motivation to, or does something else lead to it? Have you ever seeked treatment for what you're experiencing?

It was brave of you to open up by the way

ellie2000

i got dragged the bath nd r___d  after coming home frm a xmas party too the same yr by the same person, only 1. sometimes i scared to or wen im in the bath i panic n get out. life is sh*t

Kathleen07

That's understandable

It does sound like life's crap for you. It will get better, do let us know if you ever need any advice or just a listening ear x