I can’t escape it!

Former Member

I’ve come to conclusion that I will never be able to move on from my rape, it happened back in August and so far every day has been a struggle. 

At first mum didn’t believe me (she does now) I decided not to press charges... I wasn’t ready. A few of my friends knew about it and he found out I spoke to them so he started to tell people that he admits to having sex with me but it was consensual and that I’m only calling it rape because I regret it. This led to the whole school talking about what happened to me, making accusations, asking me questions and it just got too much not to mention he was there so even with my friends I still saw him which I struggled with.

 I started a new school last month due to all this and I thought this would be a new start. Unfortunately he has friends at this school and he’s told them about me and they have told others and so on so yet again people have started to ask me about it, saying how bad a person I am to accuse someone of rape and basically it’s ended up like my old school except this time I haven’t made friends with anyone. He turned up at the school gates yesterday apparently he was meeting these friends but I just knew they were purposely waiting for me...

His friends have started saying things about what happened how even if was rape it was still my fault for being a slut talking about details of the assault (from what he told them) eg Jaxson (not real name) told me how he did this to you, how he held you ect.

 I don’t know what to do anymore 😔it’s like a never ending circle 

Former Member

Hey Jam and jelly.
While i don't have very much to add in terms of help i wanted to come and offer my support.

Its really positive that you are reaching out and sharing with us, nobody can imagine what you're going through right now but we're all here for you  

Former Member

Hi @Past User
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. It's awful what you've experienced, let alone having to deal with people questioning it or suggesting you were in any way to blame. You are never to blame and no one deserves to be treated that way. 

Does anyone in your new school know you are being treated this way by his friends? You may be able to just explain their behaviour towards you and request that they stay away from you.

It sounds exhausting to be afraid you'll never move on but it shows incredible strength to keeping going especially with all the accusations from people and having had to see him again at school. We are all here for you and support you.

Former Member

Hello @Past User

It is very wonderful that you are able to share your experience here and have come for support. Firstly, I would like to say that you sound like a very strong individual and I am so sorry for what you are going through. Sometimes during difficult times it may feel like you are in a never ending circle but every darkness has a light. 

Have you spoken to an appropriate safeguard in school regarding the accusations his friends are making? This could be the first step, maybe you could speak to your mum about the matter? Social support is one of the greatest pathway to well-being. Just like the way you have been open here about what you are going through, don't be afraid to do this with others who are also willing to give you that support. We are all here for you. 

“I've never met a strong person with an easy past.”

― Atticus

Former Member

Hey @Past User 

Sending you hugs and letting you know that you're not alone - we are always here for you

I just wanted to send you a link to some sexual abuse helplines that you can talk to for both professional and emotional advice - maybe, if you feel up to it, you could contact one of these: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/abuse/sexual-abuse/#.Xdu4nm52tPY

There's also some advice on Bullying UK's website about dealing with bullying in school and the steps you can take https://www.bullying.co.uk/

Hope this helps. Please keep talking to us, we will always listen

Former Member

hey @Past User,

I remember your story cause I already wrote a comment before when all this started and I'm very sorry to hear that you're still struggling this issue

I can imagine that it's terribly difficult especially cause you even had to change your school but still facing the same troubles. But , dear, it won't be with you all the time, cause at least sooner or later you finish school as a minimum But in general I totally agree with @Past User that you could go to safeguard in your school and ask for their help. What does your mother think of that situation? Is it possible for your mother to talk to school director or maybe psycologist or any other person who's managing social issues at school regarding your case and explain what was the reason of transfer and ask for help needed. I believe that situation you have is really very tough and you shouldn't face it alone, do not be shy to ask for help or support and I guess better to ask adults who can really do something real to support you.
Also, coorect me if I am wrong, do you communicate somehow with his friends and people who ask you about situation telling you how bad you are?Cause from your message I understood that you are talking to them if they even have time to accuse you and tell you their opinion about the whole thing. If I got it right can you please tell me why do you talk to them?

Hope you'll feeol better soon

Siena

Heyy jam and jelly

i agree with what others have already said about you being a strong person! I cant imagine how difficult that must be to get blamed as well as still see his face. It takes a lot to keep going to school and even try a new one. 

Its sad that people would treat such a serious sitution this way and should get treated seriously so i hope youre able to reach out to the approprate people. Do you have anyone you feel comfortable saying this to? I believe in you and i believe you . And i care x