13th January

Former Member

That is when he'll be released.

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JustV

What's your initial reaction to knowing that, @Past User?

Former Member

My inital reaction is that I want to be dead by then. I don't want to live a life whilst he is in the open world.

Former Member

Hello @Past User

It's understandable that you may feel like that, the situation sounds really upsetting and I imagine quite frightening?

Is there anyone who you could maybe spend time with on the day that he is released? Someone you trust?

I've just popped some crisis resources in the spoiler below, in case you need them now or at a later date

please keep us updated and you are doing really well!

-Crisis Messenger are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text 'THEMIX' to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

-Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123. They also have some online services here.

- Papyrus have a helpline that is open 9am – 10pm weekdays and 2pm – 10pm on weekends. You can call them on 0800 068 4141.

-If you have any concerns for your health or safety, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. 

Former Member

I'm angry that he only got 4 and 1/2 years.

Well my mum and sister are going on Holiday on the 14th of January but I don't know if I want to go because I have been told that if he has had any bad behaviour his due date for release (13th of January) could be pushed back a couple of days or if the prision is on lock down that day he'll be released the following day and I don't know how I'de feel about going on Holiday the same day or the day after he'll be released.

Former Member

Hey @Past User

I can hear how upsetting it is that he only had to serve 4 and a half years, so sending big hugs.

It's understandable that you might not know how you would feel about going on holiday so close to him being released. Do you want to talk more about this?

Do you feel that it could be helpful to be around family and somewhere safe on the day/ near to the day that he is released?

- Jade

Former Member

I'm not going on Holiday with my mum and sister in January. I don't want to go on Holiday the day before his released or same day/day after. It will be hard because my mum won't be here but my Grandma will be so I can spend time with her maybe that's if I'm still exsisting by then.

Former Member

Can't believe this is next month. I think my mum is selfish going on Holiday in January. She didnt know it was the 13th of January when they booked but she knew it was January. So why not book for February or later!?

Former Member

Hey Lubna,

It sounds like you are feeling quite frustrated at your mum for booking the holiday in January instead of a different month, and its understandable that you may not want to go on holiday so close to him being released

It's really good that you can spend some time with your grandma, although its understandable that not having your mum there may be difficult. How is your relationship with your grandma?

You are really strong

Former Member

My relationship with my Grandma is okay but I have a comundrum my mum wants to me to look after one of her dogs when she goes on Holiday on the 14th of January and they are going for 2 weeks but really I need to be at my home so I can see my cpn and have support from my team especially the week from the 13th of January I think. So my mum asked if I could stay at hers for 1 one of the weeks out of the 2 weeks that she is on Holiday but I don't know what to say because I don't know what is more important being at my mums with Livvy (her dog) or being at mine on my own but having my cpn and Home treatment team if I need them and to choose the first week or second week to come down to my mums if I do decide to do that.

Former Member

4 weeks on Monday until his released😥😡

Former Member

I’m really sorry to hear that... How are you feeling Lubna? 💜

Former Member

Hi @Past User
I'm sorry to hear that he is being released soon. It's understandable that you're feeling so worried about it.

Would your cpn and home treatment team be able to meet with your at your mothers if you were staying there or are they only able to meet you at your home?

Former Member

My mum keeps asking me this but it's a different town that me and my mum live in so it would be temporarily moving me to a different mental health team and not sure they could do that.

Former Member

Ah booked in for 11:30 😃 I feel teary as this is a big reminder to me that I'm NOT a victim I'm a survivor. Will post a pic later.

I wanted to self harm earlier aswell but now I know I'm getting it I don't want to self harm anymore because I'll still feel the pain.

Also I'm not just a survivor from the rape. I have survived many many suicide attempts so this is a BIG reminder to me and think it will keep me going 💪

Former Member

Just cried on the phone to my mum. Ah going to ruin my eye lashes lol. I think this shows how much this means to me by making me cry and I havent evan had it done yet.

Former Member

Oof that's a shame about your tattoo @Past User hopefully you get it sorted and it doesn't stress you out too much! By the way if you want to delete one of your own posts then the easiest way is to report it and then select "This is my own post and I want to delete it" from the options there. That way we can keep everything organised and be sure of what posts you want to delete and why. Hope that helps.

Former Member

This is better 😃 tw self harm scars in spoiler with my new tattoo.

Former Member

So glad you managed to get your tattoo sorted in the end @Past User - it looks beautiful!

Former Member

So much relief haha! I think it's fits lovely in with the unwanted "i" lol and I perfer this now than I would of done if the word was spelt correctly!

Former Member

Good morning to my tattoo🥰

Former Member

It's 4 weeks today until his release date, just text my VLO because I don't know if it's best she tells my cpn first that his been released then my cpn can tell me and then hopefully my cpn will come and see me that day. New year is going to hit me so hard and I think that's when I'll go downhill😥

Former Member

Why does bad things happen on Monday's🥺 the rape happened on a Monday night, he should be released on a Monday and I fell out with my friend on a Monday.

Former Member

It's only 3 weeks on Monday until his release date. I don't evan think things will get easier then because at least I have felt safe from him for the past 4 1/2 years whilst his been in prision.

Siena

HeyyA

sounds like its going to be a real struggle on the 13 th which is completly understandable.

Its really good youre thinking about how you will feel that day, as i know some people just completly dont want to actknowedge it so can become a massive thing. So i just wanted to say thats good. And i hope you do things to look after yourself in mean time

Former Member

Hey @Past User

It's understandable that you will be feeling scared and worried about him being released in the near future, and it makes sense that you felt safe from him while he was in prison. I just wanted to send you massive hugs and remind you that we are all behind you.

Former Member

I'm feeling so selfish atm with people who want to kill themselves because of a mental illness. I totally get that a mental illness can do that but look at what I AM FACING and others are facing aswell as mental illnessnes! Miscarriages, cancer ect. This has opened my eyes too! If I wasent raped and wouldnt be going through him coming out in 9 days my issues would be minimul. 9 days until the person who raped me is released his been in prision for the past 4 and 1/2 years which I had to go through court to get a result of him having a 4 1/2 year sentance. Just thinking now it was all pointless. In my eyes I'm at a much higher risk of completing suicide than with someone who has depression. Sorry if this is wrong but on the flip side (so it's not all about me before I get accused of this) someone who has just found out that they have miscarried with mental illnesses is at higher risk of completed suicide than me right now. I wish he never evan got charged. At least then I wouldnt have to be facing him coming out of prision. I feel like I'm just back at square one but I still do advocate reporting to the police rape despise this but just saying it will be extremley hard. If anyone is considering reporting rape to the police and has any questions from reporting to court. Feel free to pm me because I might be able to answer them.

Been unsure if to post this but nothing that I've said is out of order. It's on my thread and I'm not directing it at anyone.

Former Member

If he’s been in prison for 4 and half years that’s a long time and probably learnt his lesson. Isn’t that the whole point of prison too teach criminals not to do it again if they get released. He’ll have a tough life getting back into life and work. I’m pretty sure he’ll leave you alone.

Former Member

Prision is too cushy for prisionors. They get therapy and all of that where we all struggle to get it and it's certainly not long enough!

Former Member

@Past User

Its understandable to have those opinions around prisoners, and its completely okay to think that the amount of time that they have spent in prison isn't long enough if you are considering how its caused you to feel.

We are all here for you, and you're really strong for reaching out.

keep talking to us

Jellyelephant

Everyone has different experiences and differing levels of resilience. All sorts of factors influence how something affects us. The amount/severity of things that we have been through doesn’t necessarily correlate with the chance of completing suicide. I personally think that it is unhealthy to compare ourselves to each other or get into the “my problems are worse than yours” mindset. If someone is distressed then they need support, regardless of the reason why. As the saying goes “someone who drowns in 10 feet of water is just as dead as someone who drowns in 50 feet of water”.