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I did something embarrassing and regret it

ClaraOswaldClaraOswald TardisPosts: 119 The Mix convert
Hello everyone at the mix, 
Please dont judge me x
So on thursday nights I always go to Explorers (up from scouts) and we were carving pumpkins. Some of my friends (k and m) got messy so we went to the toilets but couldn't unlock the ladies loos so went to the mens. I was like have you ever wondered what its like to use the urinals and they were like yeah, you should try it Clara. I said no way and they were said go on you should do it, we wont look. I kind of felt under pressure but also wanted to do it. So I did it.   :# Then my friends went off to tell everyone what I'd done, including my sister. 
So now Im just really embarrassed and I had to get picked up early because I couldnt face it and my whole family knows so I dont feel like talking to anyone today
My feelings are bigger on the inside. People get me wrong.
 "Sometimes the only choices you have are wrong ones but you still have to choose"-Peter Capaldi, 12th Doctor  ❤️

MikeAifeJade09Nekolovestea

Comments

  • AifeAife LondonPosts: 2,131 Staff Moderator
    I'm so sorry to hear this happened @ClaraOswald. It can be really awful when you're put under pressure to do something and then your friends tell everyone about what happened. It sounds like you're feeling really embarrassed at the moment and I just wanted to say we're not judging you at all here. I hope you're okay <3

    How are you feeling today? Do you feel you can talk to your friends about how that made you feel? 

    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • ClaraOswaldClaraOswald TardisPosts: 119 The Mix convert
    @Aife Not really  :/
    I told them I wasnt happy about everyone knowing in a subtle way  and they said sorry but carried on joking around. Im really nervous about seeing them again, as i dont want them to bring it up.
    Also Im wotried they will tell some people i go to school with and the whole school will know.
    My feelings are bigger on the inside. People get me wrong.
     "Sometimes the only choices you have are wrong ones but you still have to choose"-Peter Capaldi, 12th Doctor  ❤️

    Jade09
  • Jade09Jade09 EnglandPosts: 213 Moderator
    Hey @ClaraOswald

    As @Aife said, there is absolutely no judgement from us  <3

    It's awful that your friends told everyone what had happened, that's understandably not going to be easy. However, it's good that you spoke to them, that's a really brave thing to do.  :) 

    It sounds like they weren't very understanding of how it made you feel, which can be tough to hear when you've tried to explain things to them. How would you feel about trying to speak to them again?  

    Well done for opening up too us here!

    - Jade 
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 205 The Mix convert
    Hi @ClaraOswald

    Just wanted to echo everything @Aife and @Jade09 has said. You really didn't deserve to be treated like that, but you can feel safe in the knowledge that we will never judge you and we are always here :heart:

    I can really hear you are worried about the school finding out. I think Jade's idea about speaking to them again might be really useful in this instance - as if they truly understand how you felt, they would know not to mention it again. Perhaps you could take a little bit of time to practice exactly what it is you would like to say to them, to make sure that you feel comfortable at the end of the conversation. How does that sound?

    I really hope you're doing okay today. Take good care and remember we are always here x
  • ClaraOswaldClaraOswald TardisPosts: 119 The Mix convert
    Thanks @coc0mac and @Jade09
    I will try to speak to them again then and thanks for being so kind. I might post what I plan to text them here later x
    My feelings are bigger on the inside. People get me wrong.
     "Sometimes the only choices you have are wrong ones but you still have to choose"-Peter Capaldi, 12th Doctor  ❤️

    coc0macJade09
  • Jade09Jade09 EnglandPosts: 213 Moderator
    Hey @ClaraOswald

    Please let us know how talking to them goes! 

    It sounds like posting what you would like to say to them may be a good idea, so feel free to do that.  :)

    - Jade
  • ClaraOswaldClaraOswald TardisPosts: 119 The Mix convert
    Hello @Jade09

    I was so scared of going back to explorers this week. I didnt want to feel humiliated again :s I thought I'd talk to them then as it might sound more meaningful. 
    We were doing a dance off and everyone (including me) were too busy dancing so I forgot to talk to them. No one mentioned it and since I wont go next week I dont really want to bring it up again in hope people will think its old news. 
    Ive kinda had a talk to myself and realised that compared to nudes being spread around even if it gets out at school no one really cares and its hardly like anyone knows me anyway. 

    I think if it spreads again though I will have another chat  :)
    My feelings are bigger on the inside. People get me wrong.
     "Sometimes the only choices you have are wrong ones but you still have to choose"-Peter Capaldi, 12th Doctor  ❤️

    Salix_alba_2019Mike
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 327 Rampant Poster
    Hey @ClaraOswald

    Well done for going back to Explorers and keeping your head up! It sounds as though everything has blown over for now - these things tend to die down quickly. It's fantastic that you reflected on it and talked yourself out of catastrophizing. I really hope you're okay, and feel better after sharing here <3
    Mike
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