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Help!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 14 Settling in
in Gender & Sexuality
Feeling really confused at the moment. I'm Bi but not out, and I've been getting to know this lass, however I went out at few weeks ago and slept with a lad. He was the first lad I slept with and I thought it was just a one night stand but I can't stop thinking about him.

I don't want to seem like I'm messing them both around and I don't know whether to see this lad again or how to let him down gentle.

Is it possible that the feelings for him will pass and I can remain friends with him? I keep thinking about if I will reget not seeing him again. How do I tell him this, or tell him to remain friends - would it seem awkward to be dating a lass and be friends with a lad I've slept with and had feelings for? 

Help! Please!!
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    I think its ok to have mixed feelings about this, and you could be honest with both the people you're seeing, and say you're not sure. I think go with your heart, if you strongly love one of them more you should go with them, while still keeping the other as your friend, that way if your feelings change you haven't lost either one of them.  <3
    I know its hard  <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 487 Listening Ear
    Hey @scottyjones98

    I can tell you're feeling really mixed up about this. <3 It sounds like a tough situation to be in, and there's no right answer here. My best advice is just to go with your gut. You could try writing out a list of qualities you like about each of them, and compare the two. Ultimately, only you can know how you feel - so take some time to figure it out, and try not to rush into a relationship either way if you're not sure.

    Honesty really is the best policy when it comes to romantic relationships. You obviously don't want to hurt either of them but it might be helpful to lay out your intentions so that you can get an idea of what they think. It might be the case that they're fine with the idea of you being friends with the other, or they could be uncomfortable with it. You won't know unless you ask! 

    I hope you figure things out! Let us know how it goes :3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 33 Boards Initiate
    edited September 18

    Hey @scottyjones98

    This is a really difficult situation you are in. Like @Past User said there is no one correct answer to this. 

    It’s especially hard when you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I would recommend being upfront with both of them from the beginning so they are aware of the situation and can also have their own input. Their opinions to it could really help you make a clear decision. 

    There is always a possibility of remaining friends with the guy if that is all you are interested in with him. However, trusting your instincts is important. If you are leaning towards getting to know one of the individuals more than the other, then try and trust that this is the right decision for you. 

     I hope you’re doing well and find a way to deal with the situation! Please feel free to let us know how it all goes for you J

    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Hi @scottyjones98
    I hope you are doing ok, it sounds like a difficult situation to be in. In my experience, in any situation like this it is important to take the time to really figure out how you are feeling, to be honest and ask them how they are feeling about the situation. 

    There is a possibility that you can be friends with someone that you have slept with before if you talk honestly with them about it before and make sure that you are both happy with the situation. 

    How have you been feeling about the situation since posting?
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