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I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a difficult time. Have you heard back from the police following your interview after the sexual assault?
It’s a horrible thing you’ve been through. Are you getting any help following the incident, for example seeing a counsellor to talk to? If not, would you consider getting in contact with your local GP or a counselling service to try and get started with this?
I believe the police set a camera up to record the interview to get as much information as possible to help them with their investigation. However, it was not fair on you for the police to not explain each step to you and make an effort to make you feel comfortable during the process.
I don’t think you are a bad person in any way. Have you considered trying to find some new people that could be better for you? Perhaps by joining a new club or society to occupy your time and meet new people could be a step in the right direction.
You also mentioned how you “don’t enjoy life” right now. Is there anything in particular you are struggling with? There are lots of services for you to start getting help from. For example, Papyrus offer support, advice and information to people and are available from the number 0800 068 4141.
I hope you are doing well and please let us know if there is anything else we can help with.