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weird person in group chat

haschackforeverhaschackforever Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
hi. im new here and i didnt really know where to get advice/help about this. me and a few freinds have a group chat that 1 of my freinds runs. shes in charge and can let people in the group and ban ppl if they do sumthing wrong. anyway. most off us are about my age (im 13) or a lil older. but 1 person that comes to our group is older and she really werids me out. she allways wants to role play about shrinking and being small. like i will log in and the first thing she says is she cast a spell on me to make me small and stuff. and she wont really talk to anyone in a nomral way she really only wants to talk in role play about being shrunk and small. she says its not a sex thing... but i kinda think it is. coz when i did intrenet safety 1 thing that was in the lesson was that if sumone wont change the subject and only wants to talk about 1 thing thats a warning flag. i cant tell my parents or they mite not let me use the chat and then i wont get to talk to my freinds (i have super bad anxiety so most of my freinds are online not irl). but i dont really know what to do. i try to ignore this person but sumtimes she keeps pushing. coz its not actually bout sex the girl that runs the group says its fine but i think its not fine and that it probly is a sex thing for this person. can any1 help? idk what to do.


  • Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @haschackforever

    Sounds like a confusing situation, sounds like she's being quite relentless with it. How much older is she than you, do you know? 

    Have you tried telling her it makes you feel uncomfortable when she speaks like that? Or if not, do you reckon you could talk to another friend about it and see how they feel? 

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • haschackforeverhaschackforever Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
    shes 20 sumthing idk exactly. when she dose that role play stuff i ether totally ignore it (then get upset with myself for being rude) or like i make it jokey and then keep tlaking to other ppl in the group. i think she talks to people in dm and dose the same thing coz my bff who doesnt come in our group much any more said she did that. a few off us think its werid but idk if any1 has told her like "dont do that any more". but i mean... cant she take a hint? i just duno what to do coz its starting to trigger my anxiety and that can already be really bad and i have panic attacks a lot and i dont want this to be another trigger.
  • ValerialettoValerialetto Posts: 87 Budding Regular
    hey @haschackforever,
     it's pretty good that you shared your worries and it's clear why you have some.

    Look, I notice that you wrote that you get upset for being rude..unfortunately a lot of people use our politness against us( You have a choice to talk or nor to talk, if you don't want you can tell about it and in case if person keeps pushing it's her who's rude and crossing the border. But even if you ignore I understand that it's still disturbing cause she texts you...I don't know what chat you use, but is it possible probably to block this very person not to see her messages?

    Probably you can either talk to other guys in chat about that and if they feel the same they can ask her to stop as well just to support you. The more people support you the more chances that she'll stop.

    I have in mind also that probably you feel bad cause you don't want to have comnflict and don't want to be against of someone , in this case just remember that your health mental or physical is definitly is much more important than if smb will be upset with you behavior. You can ask politely for the first time, if person doesn't understand you can act differently and not to feel any worries

    Hope it'll get  better soon  :)
  • haschackforeverhaschackforever Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
    i can block her, and i can ask her not to but i dont want to make drama or fights in the chat coz the whole point off the group was to get away from that stuff. it was suppose to be a place to just hang out. if i block her she will know and i dont want her to make truoble for me or other ppl in the group.

    i wish that she cud take a hint and be like "ok obviously these ppl dont wana play my shrinking game". but idk. i wonder if maybe the replys she gets makes here wana come back its like the whole dont feed the trolls thing maybe? coz she gets sum attention then it makes her wana come back?

    im gona talk to the girls in the group again and see what evrey1 thinks coz if evrey1 thinks the same as me then mabye we can ask the person that runs it to not let her come back. im just bad at this stuff. :anguished:
  • alice123alice123 Posts: 88 Budding Regular
    edited September 2019
    Hi @haschackforever

    This sounds like a really frustrating situation. 

    Like @Valerialetto said, your mental health and happiness comes first. If it is making you uncomfortable it might be worth trying to speak to them about how their words are making you feel? 

    I wouldn't consider this to be dramatic or antagonistic if you approach it in a sensitive way. 

    However, if you didn't feel comfortable with this, I think talking to the others is a great idea as it may be that you are all feeling the same way and find this unacceptable. 

    You deserve to feel at ease when talking to your friends - you don't need to put up with something which makes you feel uncomfortable.
  • haschackforeverhaschackforever Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
    thanks. she hasnt been on for a lil while but i think i will try to block her and hope it dosent make too much trouble for everyone in the group. and i have been talking to other ppl and im deffinately not the only one that dosent like what she says.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,289 Skive's The Limit

    that does sound unusual and confusing. I think its def good idea to block her if this is making you uncomfortable and if it does cause drama you just say you felt uncomfortable and they should just appreciate that and hopefully shouldnt cause too much of an issue.

    Hope youre okay <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • haschackforeverhaschackforever Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
    thanks. ive blocked her and i think 2 other ppl have as well. it sounds like its probly a sex thing (thats what we think anyway) and even if its not its weird and i dont want to be like forced to role play with sumone when i dont want to play there game. and when we did internet safety in pshe 1 thing they said thats a warning flag is if sumone wont change the topic so yea i think that this is a bad sign and hope fully nothing bad will happen in the group now i blocked her. thanks everyone for helping.
  • Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Good for you @haschackforever , that's a brave thing to do and is part of self-care - well done for looking after yourself :)

    Keep us updated if you want to talk through anything else.
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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