Scared

Former Member

Something bad is happening. I’m scared. Need someone to help stop my head, to stop scared feeling. Need to be better. Everything hurts feels lost alone hopeless painful lifeless 

Former Member

Sending huge hugs Natalie Do you want to talk about the bad thing happening, or any more about those emotions (e.g the hopelessness)?

It sounds really awful. Can we do anything to help?

Former Member

Just wanted to echo what Kathleen said above, we're here to help support do you want to talk about what's going on? @NatalieMT

Sending hugs

Former Member

Just echoing as others have said above and sending you hugs and support. We are all here for you, and are ready to listen whenever you would like to talk

Former Member

Hi @NatalieMT I thought I'd check in to see how you are feeling today? 

As others have said, we are all here to listen and support you in whatever way we can You are doing the right thing by reaching out on the boards, so well done  If you feel comfortable, would you be able to say a bit more on what's causing you to feel scared, lost and alone? 

If you feel like you need further help, please reach out in any of The Mix's Support Chats or call The Mix's free confidential helpline on 0808 808 4994 

Former Member

I’m scared of New Year’s Eve, of the bad things that could happen. 
I want to say but I’m scared to here. I haven’t talked about it without needing to, 
I feel vulnerable, and I feel like I’ve one big internal knot stopping me. 
Can you be trapped by fear? Is it ok to say it, what makes it ok to say it?

Aoife

Hey @NatalieMT

It's understandable to be feeling scared and vulnerable. Reaching out for help and sharing our true feelings can be a really scary thing to do. It's always okay to share here, we won't ever judge you. We're all here to listen and help you through this always.

Do you mind me asking what you're feeling most scared about? 

Former Member

I’m scared that it’ll all become too much to bare, that this year I won’t be able to cope or get through it, I attempted to end my life December 2018, the build up to what is just a date, all became too much. I wasn’t the strong person anymore. My key person saved me, stopped me, made me see I had Darcey who didn’t think I was a bad person or hates me. It was Darcey I was here, I got past the date, carried on with the court case.

The difference this year he’s in prison, should feel safer, but fear has set in and so has the same scary thoughts. 

I am scared I will lose my mind/control. 

I’m tired of the control he has over my thoughts, my being, some days I’m just Darceys mother, others I’m this thing a monster hurt and not good enough.

On New Year’s Eve, I was 13 he tricked me, bad things happened, I was drunk, had drugs (not to my knowledge, I was unable to focus, to move myself, and I don’t know how much I can say about it here? If it’s allowed? I wasn’t in control of my own body. It was like I was unconscious, I don’t remember everything from that night, but what I do remember terrifies me. Makes me physically sick and unwell.

Former Member

I wasn’t in control of my own body 

Former Member

*hugs* hope you are doing ok

Former Member

I’m here and alive, thanks

I hope your ok