Back at school/Eating

itsquietuptown

Today is my third day back at school and it’s already not great. I have barely any free periods with my boyfriend and friends this year, which makes me a bit worried and lonely. I’m also struggling a bit with being apart from my boyfriend during the day and I just find it hard to say goodbye after break or lunch and I worry about him. The school has also introduced a new rule that we’re not allowed our phones at all during the school day and this makes me quite anxious because I have apps and websites on my phone to help me calm down/distract myself when I feel bad at school and now I don’t have that. I’m also struggling with Maths we’ve only had one lesson and one homework and it’s so hard already and I cried a lot because I couldn’t do it and I feel like a failure because I got a 9 at GCSE and now there’s no way I’ll get the B they’ve predicted me for my A Level.
I saw my counsellor on the first day back just for a short time to catch up after the holiday and sort out an appointment for next week, but I talked to her a bit about how my eating’s possibly got a bit worse over the holiday. She reminded me of how easy it can be to go downhill fast and how dangerous it is, and she said I’ll have to have more support from school and be weighed regularly so they can keep an eye on me, which makes me quite anxious. She said she wants to make sure I have support early on so it doesn’t get really bad and then when mocks and real exams come around I don’t get really really bad because of the stress and have to get taken out of school. She said we might have to think about getting CAMHS involved which makes me worried because I still have this feeling that I’m not bad enough for that and I don’t want to use up their time when someone else’s might need it more. 
I talked to my boyfriend about the eating stuff and he was telling me to just eat more and I tried to explain the bad thoughts that come with it but I think it just scared him and he didn’t understand and I don’t want to make him more worried when he’s already stressed about school work and everything.
I just already feel quite lost and I’m not sure how I’m going to get through this year, and I’m also scared because it’s the last year.

Siena

Hey!

the first few days back at school can feel the hardest & i hope it will get a tiny bit easier. 

That sounds like a bit of a shit rule as people need there phone sometimes so i doubt it would actually work out. Do they mean you cant even use your phone on your breaks? If so yeah i dont think that rule will work for them lol. But you could maybe speak to someone about why you would be using your phone?

With your eating - sounds really hard.  im really glad youre seeing someone for it- that can be the hardest part.
i think maybe trying to see CAMHS is a good idea. Now they actually see people earliest they can when they see eating challenges starting. Because stastics show that th earlier the treatment the higher the chances of a better recovery so they take people on before gets bad. You are very worthy of there help - you do not need to be very bad for it or wait til it gets that bad cause once it gets bad for longer it makes recovery harder. Plus CAMHS are more likely to take people on than adults service so its best to try to seek all the help you can. But thats up to you ofc

Eating challenges can be really complicated and i guess its okay for people to not understand them. We can still support either way!

you said youre not sure how you will get through the year. Its really great to have that self awareness and to be able to actknowledge when we feel things are bad as we can seek more help and tackle things with more acceptance rather than avioding things hoping it will be okay. And im not sure where else i was going with this paragraph. Lol. But just know we are here for you! & youre doing really well @itsquietuptown