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Moving house time again

LubnaLubna Posts: 496 Rampant Poster
edited August 2019 in Home, Law & Money
I have wrote a list of pro's and con's and I can think 5 of each. Can anyone else help me decide?

Pro's:
1)I can't stop at 'home' (I don't call it home anymore) because of the rats and everytime I go back I feel like crying and killing myself. I have been discharged from hospital nearly 2 weeks ago now and havent stopped a night at home.
2)It's slightly closer to mum's (which is the greatest thing).
3)The new support worker might be great.
4)It's close to my friends still.
5)Being in a new house might make me happier.

Con's:
1)Mixed gender house.
2)Male support worker and he might be shit.
3)Will have to wait to be transferred to a new mental health hub.
4)Will have to say goodbye to my old support worker.
5)The move will be stressful.

I've been in this house now for 2 years it's the longest I have been in a house for because I've moved about 16 times so far. I'm the queen of moving. No wonder I need to move 😂👸 and atm I'm 50/50% I know I need to move because I can think of 5 reasons for each so I can never make the decission that's why I'm never settled.

Comments

  • MikeMike Hummus-Fuelled Whovian Posts: 1,975 Staff Moderator
    edited August 2019
    Good to see you're taking care to thoroughly think about this one @Lubna. :)

    It's hard for me - and possibly others - to say what the pros and cons are for your specific situation, because moving is a very personal thing. The upsides and downsides will probably depend a lot on your circumstances and what your feelings are around all the different variables.

    Is there anything in particular you want people to consider when they give you advice on this? Also, can I ask what you're referring to when you say 'home' in that first pro? At first I thought you meant the place you're living now but then I realised that wouldn't make much sense.

    The one thing I would ask is: what's the worst case? If you move and you don't like it, can you look at other places or maybe even return to where you are now? These things are always a bit of a dice roll and involve some level of risk, but you're not stuck there forever if you do move. :)

    Sounds like you've had a pretty turbulent experience of living in different places, by the way. Moving house is stressful and I can't imagine moving that many times - well done for getting through it all!

    What made you consider moving in the first place?
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    Jordancoc0mac
  • LubnaLubna Posts: 496 Rampant Poster
    I feel like I have put in my first post the paticular things I want people to consider when asking for advice.

    I mean home by I don't go there and feel safe and comfortable and I think if your at home you should feel those things.

    If I do move slightly closer to my mums it's likely in the future I can move evan closer to my mums.

    I havent got a home because I don't have a bed where I feel safe and comfortable so that is what made me consider moving in the first place. Also I have been wanting to move closer to my mums for ages.
  • CarolineVCarolineV Posts: 133 The Mix convert
    Sounds like you have a lot to consider @Lubna, and it's great that you're thinking this through. It seems like this is something that you've been considering for a long time, and there are a lot of positives for you (like being closer to your mum, and having somewhere you feel comfortable).

    I'm wondering if there's any way you could make the cons less negative, if that makes sense? For example, would you be able to meet the new support worker before you make a decision to see how you get on with him? Or perhaps considering that while the move will be stressful (which I can completely relate to, moving is the worst!!), it could help to alleviate some of the bigger stressors you have in your current house?
  • LubnaLubna Posts: 496 Rampant Poster
    I have decided to move in. I'm waiting for the landlord now to get the keys and sign the paperwork.
  • LubnaLubna Posts: 496 Rampant Poster
    Sweating my ass off packing. I'm moving tomorrow. I feel like I'm going to pass out. 
  • LubnaLubna Posts: 496 Rampant Poster
    The van was meant to be here at 10:30 and it's not turned up😡
  • AifeAife LondonPosts: 2,169 Moderator
    @Lubna how did the move go in the end? I hope the van turned up and everything went okay :)
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • LubnaLubna Posts: 496 Rampant Poster
    Yes the van turned up and the move went ok but I don't know why but when I am on my own in a house or anywhere I feel myself struggling so I have only stopped at my new home for one night because my mum had to come and pick me up lastnight.
  • mags98mags98 Posts: 175 Moderator
    Hi @Lubna,

    Moving houses (or cities or anywhere) is always a big step and change, sometimes it just takes some time to get use to. Maybe you might find it helpful to start off spending a few nights per week in your new home and the rest with your mom? It might make the transition easier and might help you cope better
  • LubnaLubna Posts: 496 Rampant Poster
    I fell out with my mum but have been staying at my friends house.
  • mags98mags98 Posts: 175 Moderator
    @Lubna

    I hope things get better with your mom and glad you're staying with some friends. Are you feeling any better living in your new house?
  • LubnaLubna Posts: 496 Rampant Poster
    Not really. I have been staying at my friends house still.
  • AbiAbi Posts: 57 Miniposter
    Hi @Lubna

    I just thought I would check in to see how you are? 

    <3
  • LubnaLubna Posts: 496 Rampant Poster
    Hi sorry only just seen I hadent replied to this thread. I'm staying at my friends house still but I have been here continuously for 2 weeks now (I have been here longer than that but 2 weeks ago I stayed at mine for one night) so I'm feeling like I need to stay at mine next week evan if it's just for one night but I know if I do I'll try and end my life which I'm eagor to do I just got to wait until Tuesday which is my payday so I can get home.
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