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Don’t like my birthday present

itsquietuptownitsquietuptown Posts: 36 Boards Initiate
in Sex & Relationships
So my boyfriend got me a pretty expensive birthday present and firstly I feel guilty that he spent so much money on me, but also I can’t even use it and it’s probably just going to sit in my cupboard and I feel so horrible and ungrateful but I don’t know what to tell him I just wish he’d got me something else and less expensive but it’s too late to send it back and I’m being so ungrateful and horrible I can’t stop crying from guilt
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Aww, you're not ungrateful at all. I understand feeling horrible, but please try not to be too guilty about it. It's not your fault he spent the money on it and that you can't use it :heart:

    I hope it felt good to get this out, I just wanted to send you hugs :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    It's okay not to like a gift, please don't feel guilty about it. sending hugs <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 48 Boards Initiate
    Don’t feel guilty about not liking it, you have no control over what other people buy you. Just focus on that you’re important enough to him for him to get you something expensive. If he cares about you, I’m sure he’ll understand that it wasn’t the kind of gift you’re interested in receiving and appreciate your honesty. Just thank him for the thought. 

    At least he will know for next time x <3
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Heyy! -

    You're not alone in being given something you didn't want & never using it. It's not your fault. Most times I find it hard to even say I don't like it and can be hard. 
     I understand that you feel guilty-  so I won't tell you to stop how you're feeling but I don't think you need to at all :). 

    Also you don't sound ungrateful either - you sound like you really care about it 

    Hugs x <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 87 Budding Regular
    hey @itsquietuptown,

    do not be upset and do not feel guilt because there can't be any guilt at all. I guess all couples face with such problems and the solution is just to talk about it. It's a good option if both of you will have smth like "gift list" with as much items  as you want (with different price range) In this case there will be always a surprise cause you never know what he will chose from your list but at the same time it'll be something you want for sure  :3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 88 Budding Regular
    hey @itsquietuptown

    I totally understand how you're feeling and it's horrible! I actually had a very similar situation happen to me. My boyfriend got me an expensive pair of shoes and they were totally not my style! Although I really appreciated the thought and effort he went to getting them for me, I couldn't help but dislike them and feel uncomfortable over the fact that he'd spent so much on me.

    I initially felt guilty as you are, however instead I decided to focus on the fact that gift did do it's job, although maybe not in the way he had expected. I didn't wear the shoes often but I loved that he had chosen them and so appreciated them all the same. Now a few years on, we laugh about all the presents we've given each other which were totally not what we wanted - but it didn't matter!

    I completely get how you're feeling but you can't choose how much money the other person spends on a gift so trying to appreciate the thought instead of feeling guilty is often the best way to go.

    Have you spoken to him about how you're feeling? I'm sure he wouldn't want a gift he bought you to be causing you upset so maybe it would be a good idea to try and approach the topic, explaining that you love the thoughtfulness but you feel uncomfortable with him spending that amount on you and that you cannot use the gift? 

    All the best x
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