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Eating (trigger warning)

itsquietuptownitsquietuptown Posts: 16 Fast Newbie
My eating has improved a bit lately, by which I mean that I’ve been eating a more healthy amount than I had been previously. Sometimes I feel good about this and that I’m making some progress, but most days I just feel guilty and scared that I’m gaining weight. I haven’t really been making any effort to stop myself eating a healthy amount but I have thoughts about it still and feel bad. I just have such mixed feelings and I don’t know how to be more comfortable with the better period I think I’m having at the moment, especially since part of me is kind of hoping that it won’t last long and then I’ll go downhill a bit again. I think the fact that it’s the summer holidays and I’m at home a lot is part of what makes me keep snacking so I could probably try to stop doing that so much. Sorry this started positively but while I may physically be doing a bit better mentally I just feel bad about it. If anyone has any advice on how to cope with the possibility of gaining a small bit of weight and attempting to make progress without so many bad thoughts that will probably make me go back to bad habits, I’d really appreciate it. Sorry for the slightly depressing post
Butterfly23

Comments

  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 817 Incredible Poster
    Hey!

    It's really good that you have been eating a healthy amount recently, it's understandable to have your fears around gaining weight which I imagine is what makes recovery the hardest. I just want to mention well done because I know how hard it can be and i'm proud of you for making progress.  <3

    You don't need to apologise for the post by the way, we are here to support you! 

    Butterfly x

    itsquietuptownSalix_alba_2019
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Posts: 130 The Mix convert
    Hey I know through personal experience how hard dealing with eating thoughts can be and it's really good that you have the awareness. I know that in the past, the lack of structure from the holiday period would makes things more challenging in terms of staying on track. Processing the thoughts in a healthy way whilst introducing some fun might be what you need to help navigate yourself through the summer. Like a job or knitting or even something that Involves helping other people, distractions are your best friends! 

    When I was recovering  from bulimia, I had a goal and that was to look after my teeth and to grow my hair back. They were two very small goals that helped me and I was wondering if having a goal would help you too? 

    Salix 
    itsquietuptown
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 2,671 Mega Poster
    remember food = fuel :star: 

    as someone who is in the same position as you, I understand.. the way I try to look at it is that I'm gaining life while I'm gaining weight, like there's so much stuff I can do now that I just didn't have the energy for before. think of all the reasons why you chose to recover and hold onto them, it helps to write them down :)

    are you getting any support while you're going through this? <3
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    itsquietuptownSalix_alba_2019
  • itsquietuptownitsquietuptown Posts: 16 Fast Newbie
    remember food = fuel :star: 

    as someone who is in the same position as you, I understand.. the way I try to look at it is that I'm gaining life while I'm gaining weight, like there's so much stuff I can do now that I just didn't have the energy for before. think of all the reasons why you chose to recover and hold onto them, it helps to write them down :)

    are you getting any support while you're going through this? <3
    My boyfriend helps a lot but sometimes he can be a bit too focused on the food aspect rather than the emotions. I get counselling at school but of course at the moment it’s the holidays so I don’t have that. I’m basically just relying on forums, apps, websites, articles etc. Thanks for your advice :)
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 6,733 The Mix Elder
    edited August 14
    Heyy!

    Youre doing well to reach out on here & other places and to recongise all this <3. I can empathise with eating struggles & when my restricting gets really bad I try to challenge my thoughts. I can understand sometimes the guilt gets really loud saying it's bad to gain weight - it can be a big achievement from eating a healthy amount <3 & understand the mixed feelings sometimes it can feel like you're in two mindsets at the same time - one feeling guilty the other is saying you're doing well - dunno If can relate to that?
     you sound like you're doing your best to make progress. And wanting to make the progress - that can be the hardest part. As bubbles said is good to think of all the positive things that can help when food isn't controlling your every thought
    dont need to be sorry at all!<3 we're here to listen and support. So keep sharing if is helping. & take lots of care & be kinder to yourself <3
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
    itsquietuptown
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