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Last night. (Possible TW)

Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Helping Hand
Last night was a really bad night. My sister ended up calling an ambulance because I wanted to seriously harm myself. I had a psychosis episode, which may have been partly to do with not taking my medication although it happens sometimes anyway. Probably a combination of both. Everything starts with just feeling a bit down, but it just progressed. The voices became prominent to the point where I believed the hallucinations were real and, from what I've been told, I was talking to myself in a somewhat unpleasant manner. I guess I am just reaching out to see if anyone else has had similar experiences, and can offer any advice or strategies. When it gets this bad, listening to music and trying distraction just doesn't really surfice. If I'm honest, it doesn't even cross my mind because I'm so caught up in the realism of it all. I had good support around me, and I am so grateful for the people who tried to help me and just kept me company during the episode ❤️ 

I guess i am posting this today because I am not in a focused, nor adequate mindset to post when I'm actually in the moment. As for now, I just feel incredibly exhausted which is due to the amount of energy these psychosis episodes use up, but also the sedation I was given. I am trying to keep myself awake so that I'll get a good nights sleep tonight though x 

Comments

  • JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,869 Extreme Poster
    Hey 

    i dont have any good advice but i just wantsd to comment and say that sounds so difficult to deal with... and I am thinking of you and sending hugs your way. I hope things feel better soon 

    x
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
  • Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @Jellyelephant I appreciate the support thank you xx 
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Hey @Mia_moo ,

     That sounds awful and I hope that you're feeling a bit better now. I just wanted to pop by to show my support and to say that we're all here and that it's okay to take some time out to rest, get support and get back on top of things 😉

    Some of the things I have experienced have been due to extreme stress, in BPD terms it's called transient psychosis. Around the 1st anniversary of my dad's passing I experienced some delusions from being so distressed. You know the, persecutory delusions ( I'm being careful not to mention the detail because I don't want to trigger anyone).

    I'm not sure if this will be of any help but I was taught to use the "check the facts" DBT skill. It's requires the person to look for evidence when such thoughts arise and if there is any solid evidence then it means having to challenged the ideas to diffuse them.

    Sending hugs right your way! 🤗
  • Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @Salix_alba_2019 Thank you for sharing that with me, obviously I'm sorry that you have experienced that but it makes me feel a little less alone x That's a really good idea actually, I tend to believe these things without looking for evidence towards them to be honest x Thank you for the advice ❤️
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey,

    That experience sounded so frightening and difficult so i'm sorry you had to go through that, just popped in to send you lots of hugs and I hope you feel a bit better now!  <3

    Butterfly x
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Hey, how are you doing today?
  • Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @Salix_alba_2019 Hi, I'm ok thank you. Keeping distracted aha. Checking the facts definitely helped x
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Hey Mia
    just wanted to send hugs. Your doing well - sounds really hard <3 x
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    I'm sorry you had to go through that, it's not nice a know … I haven't found many things that help when im in that state but a few things that do help is when I feel an episode coming on ill have some popping candy to help ground myself, something else that helps is setting an alarm for every hour to help bring me back, that's more for disassociation though, but could be helpful for you. 

    are you back on your meds now?  I would urge you to speak to your gp, it can be dangerous coming off them straight away, same as when you go back on them, you may have to start at a lower dosage again... do you find them helpful? if not you could always explore other options with your gp :) <3
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    I'm sorry you had to go through that, it's not nice a know … I haven't found many things that help when im in that state but a few things that do help is when I feel an episode coming on ill have some popping candy to help ground myself, something else that helps is setting an alarm for every hour to help bring me back, that's more for disassociation though, but could be helpful for you. 

    are you back on your meds now?  I would urge you to speak to your gp, it can be dangerous coming off them straight away, same as when you go back on them, you may have to start at a lower dosage again... do you find them helpful? if not you could always explore other options with your gp :) <3
    Doing things like that to ground me I think may help, its easy to get caught up in believing it's  all real. I'll give it a try ❤️ I'm back on my meds now, I wasn't supposed to stop taking them I was just hearing certain things that made me not necessarily want to if you understand what I mean (trying to be careful here aha). I have had my meds changed quite a lot so these haven't really built up yet, but then I obviously have to give it chance to. Someone is taking charge of my meds now anyway, as much as I like independence I think that's for the best whilst I can't trust myself to take them regularly on my own Xxx
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