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Not sure if TW or what to do with this
Former Member
Posts: 177 Helping Hand
I’m normally in touch with thoughts/feelings. I struggle with them but I’m in control of them.
I’ve had flashbacks for years a long time even when it was happening, I felt numb often to what was happening, I had to shut down to survive but I’d always bare the fear of remembering it.
Flashbacks more ire during the night, the waking up in darkness is a big trigger because things happened when it was dark and I was alone with him.
I heard a song from someone’s car, the words have stuck, I can even tell you what was happening at the time that song was playing to each word, I remember. But when I do my body feels like it’s paralysed on lock down, it’s a time I’m really scared to talk go into.
Since that I’ve had flashbacks of it throughout the day I can’t count how many times because I feel detached. I have a bad feeling, I begin to remember it myself the song, and I’m back there. But I feel like a little girl again, like it’s happening, like I’m back there. But it’s like I’m watching it happen, I feel detached from it I just see myself as a little girl, I remember it more that I did, I told the police it but this is different. I can physically feel and be back there. it doesn’t feel safe it feels out of control and I feel like a lost little girl o was then in it.
I need to out it somewhere safe where no one can hurt, I needed someone to stop that happening to me as a little girl that needed to happen
how many silent tears can I have until he stops I was that girl and it hurts a lot
I’ve had flashbacks for years a long time even when it was happening, I felt numb often to what was happening, I had to shut down to survive but I’d always bare the fear of remembering it.
Flashbacks more ire during the night, the waking up in darkness is a big trigger because things happened when it was dark and I was alone with him.
I heard a song from someone’s car, the words have stuck, I can even tell you what was happening at the time that song was playing to each word, I remember. But when I do my body feels like it’s paralysed on lock down, it’s a time I’m really scared to talk go into.
Since that I’ve had flashbacks of it throughout the day I can’t count how many times because I feel detached. I have a bad feeling, I begin to remember it myself the song, and I’m back there. But I feel like a little girl again, like it’s happening, like I’m back there. But it’s like I’m watching it happen, I feel detached from it I just see myself as a little girl, I remember it more that I did, I told the police it but this is different. I can physically feel and be back there. it doesn’t feel safe it feels out of control and I feel like a lost little girl o was then in it.
I need to out it somewhere safe where no one can hurt, I needed someone to stop that happening to me as a little girl that needed to happen
how many silent tears can I have until he stops I was that girl and it hurts a lot
2
Comments
i just wanted to say you do really well to share how you're feeling here. It takes a lot of strength - as well as all the things you have been through.
I hope you find this place a safe place. Cause we care and wishing you all the best !
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling,but i'm extremely proud of you for opening up here. It sounds like the flashbacks are really troubling you at the moment and they sound really painful for you to go through. Repeating what @Past User said about whether you have any strategies that help?
Butterfly x