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Just.....(no title)
NatalieMT
Posts: 177 Helping Hand
There is no point to putting here all that is on my mind, it achieves nothing, serves no purpose, it’s just words and well I couldn’t put it here anyway because of its TW content...so the latter is irrelevant. Not everyone expresses or displays their full emotion at any given time. I have spoken with my liaison worker who I’m not supposed to be anymore, her words were ‘I’d be more concerned if you wasn’t talking about how you feel’, sometimes it’s what isn’t being said.
Feeling like someone cares is half the battle - professionals tell you to reach out, try different sources for support, both I have - I’ve done these things, I haven’t given up, I’ve shown willing to recover/heal (whatever that means!). It feels that unless your at the end of a destructive path (i.e. suicidal) then you (meaning I) don’t matter. Why does no one want to help someone who wants to be helped?
I know things can’t be fixed or erased, I’m not asking them to be, I’ve accepted what was done to me both as a child and adult was/is wrong, but the resources I’ve used, my facing my worse fears just isn’t enough.
I’m heading on a slippery slope because I’ve exhausted resources, my silence is absent, but then no one asks, on the outside I’m blank but on the inside there’s a lot going on, the blankness is there to fool myself - very helpless and pointless place to be.
Living is exhausting but it’s even more exhausting trying to live!
Feeling like someone cares is half the battle - professionals tell you to reach out, try different sources for support, both I have - I’ve done these things, I haven’t given up, I’ve shown willing to recover/heal (whatever that means!). It feels that unless your at the end of a destructive path (i.e. suicidal) then you (meaning I) don’t matter. Why does no one want to help someone who wants to be helped?
I know things can’t be fixed or erased, I’m not asking them to be, I’ve accepted what was done to me both as a child and adult was/is wrong, but the resources I’ve used, my facing my worse fears just isn’t enough.
I’m heading on a slippery slope because I’ve exhausted resources, my silence is absent, but then no one asks, on the outside I’m blank but on the inside there’s a lot going on, the blankness is there to fool myself - very helpless and pointless place to be.
Living is exhausting but it’s even more exhausting trying to live!
4
Comments
It sounds like you may feel as if you aren't receiving the help that you need.. is that right? You seem to be really trying to recover, and that in itself shows that you are strong and relentless and I can understand that if you feel that you are trying your best and yet no one is helping you it could be upsetting.
I hear how exhausting this is for you, is there anyone that you could speak to about needing more support and how you feel like you are slipping?
Butterfly x
im sorry for what youre going through and that you feel like your not being heard, have you told your team about this? as Butterfly said, that fact you're trying to recover despite this shows how strong you are.
have you seeked out support through charity's? Womans aid have been a big support for me (they don't only deal with domestic abuse as so many people think)
sending big hugs