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mental health - tw

itsquietuptownitsquietuptown Posts: 21 Fast Newbie
i’m 16 (nearly 17), going into year 13 next school year. i’ve been struggling with my mental health for about six years in total, the last three years it’s been most serious with low mood/depression basically continuously, self harm, suicidal thoughts, anxiety. in the last year i’ve also developed some eating issues. i’ve been having counselling at school for three years, and went to the doctor three times but did not get much except being told i was doing all the right things, being given a rubber band to try to stop self harm, and information on self referral to camhs. i haven’t done the referral to camhs because i don’t feel like i deserve it because there are people who need it more than me and for the most part i haven’t been in really big crisis for a while now. i’m just so tired of never having a day without it being there, it’s always lurking and almost every night i cry myself to sleep, and when i’m with others i always feel like a burden and like i’m ruining things for other people. my boyfriend is great and has helped me a lot and when i’m with him and get down he’s really good at looking after me, but i just can’t help but feel annoying. i’ve tried to sign up for so many online therapy or support things but i keep getting rejected from CBT ones because they think it’s not the right thing for me, and i just feel lost and rejected and lonely. it will be better once i’m back at school and can see my counsellor regularly, but i’m just so exhausted. i try to go outside every day and go for walks as often as i can, and i’m doing my best to manage my eating, but it just feels like nothing works
Kathleen07Mia_mooButterfly23

Comments

  • Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 The Mix convert
    Hey @itsquietuptown  :) it's good that you are talking on here. I think it's important that you remember that everyone's issues are different. When we feel low it's easy to make ourselves believe we aren't 'bad enough' for help. I think you would benefit from making a referral, like i said everyone's issues are different meaning they can't be compared, you deserve help. 
    Have you tried any 1-2-1 chats or anything? I think it would help to find some professional support and explore options outside of school too so you aren't feeling left to be this way.  <3 It's good to try and prevent a crisis before one actually happens x 
    itsquietuptown
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,897 Postholic
    Sending you love and hugs, I'm really sorry to hear this :heart: I can relate to being tired of never having a day without it there. You must be feeling really done and exhausted with it all.

    I don't think of you as a burden or annoying. I often get the feeling that no one wants to see or hear me, it's so crap. And I talk to my dad a lot about how bad I feel which makes me feel annoying. What I can say is that you're a worthy person who deserves your boyfriend and to be around people, and I'm sure you're not thought of as any of these things :heart:

    It's understandable that you feel lost and lonely. I think you've been really strong to try to get help, and to fight through this.

    There's no pressure to get a referral to CAMHS if you don't feel like it, but I just want to say that you truly do deserve it. I can really hear how much you're suffering and your wellbeing is important, and this is what they're here for. How would you feel about a referral, do you think they could help?

    You're doing well with sharing and we're all here for you :blush:
    itsquietuptown
  • AbigailAbigail Carer/musician Posts: 671 Incredible Poster
    Hi @itsquietuptown

    Sorry to read you have been struggling for so long. I hope here at the mix you can find some support. 

    I understand that your doctors hasn't been helpful at all, is there anyone else at your GP you can speak to? Its really good to read your boyfriend has been helpful and supporting you, when your struggling is he one person you could talk to, to help you lower the urges to self-harm. Here is a list of distraction that has helped people. You deserve the support, CAHMs has been helpful for so many people in recovery, is this something that might be able to help you knowing that it can help others? 

    You mentioned issues with eating, I just want to share a link with you for a site called Beat. They have some really good support on there as well as group chats on tonight for young people under 18 at 7pm till 8:15pm. 

    The mix is always here if you want to continue supporting you. 

    Abi
    Some people think i am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
    itsquietuptown
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,344 The Mix Elder
    edited August 2019
    Heyy!

    I'm glad you're posting here!

    feeling so bad for so many years does sound really tough - sending hugs & support <3. I just wanted to highlight how much strength that takes to deal with -as well as seeking support shows courage. <3
    i can  empathise with the feelings of keep trying but getting no where. Maybe that's because sometimes it's hard to see small progress or it just take a long time to find what works.
     Battling how you feel everyday is getting somewhere 

    You deserve support when you're feeling so low just as much as anyone else - comparing ourselves to others is hard since we are all different but every struggle is valid and deserves support & seeking that is okay. So I hope you can consider trying to refeer yourself to CAMHS. 

    Im glad to read you have support from your school counsellor and your boyfriend.  We are all listening too and would never be a burden for seeking support - everyone cares to want give support to everyone struggling.

     Let us know how we can support you - maybe that's just listening but if you want us to share any ways we cope with things like eating issues or overwhelming feels than let use know.  

    All the best!
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
    itsquietuptown
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 817 Incredible Poster
    Hello and welcome to the mix!

    What you are going through sounds really difficult for you, especially as it has been going on with quite a long time. Well done for having the counselling and visiting your GP, it sounds like you are really determined to help yourself which is fab!  :)

    I think that doing the referral to CAMHS would be helpful for you, as they could help to provide you with the support that is best suitable for you. Your struggles are valid and it's important that you try not to compare yourself to others as you are just as much as deserving of help as anyone else. I am happy to hear that your boyfriend is supportive, it's always good to have support from the people who care about us. <3 

    Have you tried Kooth before? it's free and provides counselling, may be something to think about for times when you are off from school?  :)

    Butterfly x
    itsquietuptown
  • Charley7Charley7 Posts: 25 Cool Newbie
    Hi! I’m starting year 13 too so understand how stressful it is and the effect it can have on you’re mental health, if you ever want to chat to someone in a similar situation I’m here. Hope things get better for you.
    itsquietuptown
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