What is the point?!

NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 117 The Mix convert
You can never feel, never be yourself, if your not smiling or happy, your completely invisible and on your own!

No one wants to be around a miserable, sad or lifeless person, no one wants to be any of those things either! 

You cant fix ‘something’ that is broken and has been broken from the inside! 
Spook98GreenTeaLaineClaraOswalddavcr0ckchubbydumplingAife

Comments

  • Spook98Spook98 UKPosts: 97 Miniposter
    Things I've thought, but never wanted to say.
    NatalieMT
  • AbigailAbigail Carer/musician Posts: 634 Extreme Poster
    Hey @NatalieMT

    How are you doing today?

    It sounds like you have been struggling recently with a range of different emotions. I understand how hard these emotions can be especially when there is no one around to be a listening ear. Have you tried reaching out to the support team here at the mix? They can be really helpful for someone who understands and can help you through the day if that is 1 hour or the whole day, they are there if you need to talk to them. The boards are always here for you as well. Your never alone here at the mix, there will always be someone who can be a listening ear for you. Keep fighting through and there will be a day when all the fighting will have been worth it. Keep thinking about the fun times you've had with Darcy as well to keep you smiling. 

    Stay strong
    Abi
    Some people think i am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking
    NatalieMT
  • ClaraOswaldClaraOswald TardisPosts: 67 Miniposter
    Feel the same way too x
    You cant be sad in peace without upsetting someone or someone thinking u hate them because you havent talked to them and want to be left alone  :'(
    U have to put on a fake smile and pretend til you get home then cry and rant  :'(
    Here for u  <3
    My feelings are bigger on the inside. People get me wrong.
     "I don't need a sword, because I am The Doctor, and this is my spoon"- Peter Capaldi
    Time is the biggest healer 🕖
    NatalieMT
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 4,684 Supreme Poster
    I hear you

    sending hugs <3

    Lot of people take people for who they are and for what they're feeling and support them through it. You're not invisable to us.
      It takes time but things can heal and i have hope for things healing/fixing 
    " Shout out to everyone making progress that no one recongises because you never let anyone see your darkest moments. You've been silently winning battles and transforming yourself. Be proud of every step you're making in the right direction. Keep going cause you've got this" 🌸🌸❤️
    NatalieMT
  • NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 117 The Mix convert
    Thanks all

    I can honestly say that I have never had thoughts so intense and close, it’s so raw.

    Just when I thought I’d opened myself up and bared my soul as much I was ever going to be able to. I then went on to do the most scariest and fainting thing, a thing I’ve spent so many years before it fearing. I confronted it, exposed myself through, got through it, without knowing what I actually wanted.

    Did I want to be told it was all of my own fault? 

    Did I want to not be believed because then it would make all of the voices in my head right?

    Did I want to show that you can be hurt and it doesn’t matter? 

    The problem i don't know what what I expected to happen or what I wanted, the only present feeling was for everything to stop.

    Well it certainly stopped him from hurting anyone else, it also stopped and was the day that I finally admitting and acknowledged it wasn’t my fault. That rape and abuse is just that! But I guess it all stopped for me there. 

    After I’ve been lost, lost identity, lost myself, lost by time, lost by days, lost by years. That for me was the final stage on my healing process, the day that I’d be fixed. 

    I wasn’t and now I’m damned. You can take every step of the process but even then you can stumble when you least expect it. 

    What now?!
    Spook98
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