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I don't want to go on vacation with my family

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 2 Newbie
in Health & Wellbeing

I am 15 years old.

My parents have arranged a one week long vacation to France which starts tomorrow. ​ ​I have a severe anxiety problem, which was the cause of me being uncomfortable the last year and a half of school, not attending school the last month of school, and approximately 10 sessions with a psychologist, et cetera. ​ ​But my parents don't believe that I have a severe anxiety problem; they think that I was at the psychologist because I have autism.

I dare not tell them about my problem, for I am ashamed.

They were already told half of it, but they've ignored it since since I've neglected to talk about it. ​ ​They don't believe the severity which I testify. ​ ​They believe that I would feel better if I went on the trip. Let me just add that last time I went on an international trip, I was traumatized, and immediately after the trip, the severity of my anxiety problem rapidly increased. I wonder why.

Actually, didn't I talk about this with the psychologist? Yet my parents don't believe me.

I am very sad. I don't understand how people can expect me to want to talk about my problem. I feel ashamed. Is that not to be expected?​ But you don't believe that it would be better for me to not go on the trip, anyway, so what does it matter?

even if I go to psychologist, I won't want to talk about my problem. then, my parents will get angry and perhaps force me to go on the vacation

I just spoke to my parents for two hours. ​ ​I nearly cried. ​ I fear that my parents will use violence to force me to go on the vacation, and I pray to god that that is illegal here in Sweden.

I will cry, but I don't want to cry.

I described this anxiety problem on another forum, and they told me that I should stay home and seek professional help, because I'm clearly severely suffering.

My parents say that I cannot be alone for 7 days, that I would not survive.

Now, I am sad, because supposedly, I am privileged. How can I stop being privileged.

So, if it is illegal for them to forcibly make me go on the vacation and tomorrow, I manage to gather the strength to not give in to them, I guess I'm the asshole for robbing my brother of this vacation, huh?


Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Heyy! And welcome to the community!

    totally hear your frustration here. Empathise with how horrible can feel when have to go somewhere that really dont wanna go. Esp when feeling very anxious.  

    Its good you are aware of possible triggers and why would make anxiety worse. Hope you have some ways you cope with anxiety.
     Sometimes pushing people too far out of their comfort zone is the worst thing can do. And i feel like thats what some people dont understand- Since you said they believe youd feel better. - you spoke to your parents for 2 hours - what was that about - did you get the chance to speak about your anxiety?

    Its common to feel ashamed of our challenges. Though we all have challenges and speaking about them is okay. You deserve support and sounds like need/ want it too so hope get it. Do you know why you feel ashamed? It sounds like explaining everything could really help and give them more insight

    I would think the violence would be illegal everywhere - are you worried about this because they have been violent before?. there a friend or relative you could stay with instead?

    I hope that things go as okay as can.
     Here to support you!

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 2 Newbie
    >did you get the chance to speak about your anxiety?

    I tried to explain it in a roundabout way; I feel too ashamed to tell them exactly.

    >Do you know why you feel ashamed?

    Yes, I mean, no one talks about the specific problem which I have.

    >are you worried about this because they have been violent before?

    not really... I don't know what counts as violence, so maybe, I don't know.

    >    there a friend or relative you could stay with instead?

    I guess my grandparents, but that would feel very wrong. I would be very humiliated.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 133 The Mix Convert
    edited September 18
    Welcome to the boards @Past User, it's great to see you posting! I just wanted to let you know that we're a UK based service, so although a lot of what you find here will still be relevant, we might not be able to help with things specific to Sweden. That being said, you're very welcome to be here!

    If I'm right your holiday started yesterday, have you gone with your family?

    It sounds like things are really difficult with your anxiety right now, although I'm glad that you've been speaking with a psychologist. You mentioned you felt ashamed to talk about your problems with them, that's a completely natural and common feeling, but it could help to remember that this is their job and they're used to hearing about all kinds of problems. Here's a quote from one of our articles about opening up to a counsellor or psychologist

    Are they going to judge me?
    This is a really common worry. Will my counsellor think I’m an idiot? Or horrible? Or a time-waster?
    All counsellors are trained to be non-judgmental in their approach, and to respect differences and diversity. If you do feel judged, try and open up to them about how you’re feeling. It could help iron out the kinks.
    Remember as well that how much you tell them, and what you tell them, is up to you. Pace yourself if needs be, so you build trust with them gradually. Once you feel safe, you may find you can’t shut up – which is great!
    How are you feeling since you last posted? We're all here to support you <3
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miniposter Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Welcome to the boards! 💗

    I hope you are feeling a bit better today,

    Butterfly x
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