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Time is a healer...

NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
edited July 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
It isn’t, time makes the scars, which are already deep rooted, get longer, more painful, until this pain it consumes you (me).

I’ll never be who I should or who o was meant to be. I’m so desperate to escape from this horrible world. I wish someone would take my mind, my thoughts, my body and just leave behind my love for Darcey. 

Sometimes for some people the pain and hurt is so deeply engrained there is no way out no matter how hard you look or search within yourself, some souls are meant to go to a safer place when they cannot bare being in a place of fear.

I am not as strong as I was.  I could shatter to a million pieces and even then no one could figure out how to put the pieces back together. This is me, not a whole, a half,  but completely shattered.

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Natalie, emotional pain can cloud our judgement. Making us think like there is no way out. Trauma & scars can just make imbalance in your brain & its hard to see things improve, its really awful feeling. As long as youre alive - things can improve and there is hope. 

    You say youre not as strong as you was because youre in more pain? To me that makes you stronger - you keep going , keep seeking help when things feel so painful. Im glad youre here


    I hope you can take time to step back from the overwhelming feelings to recongise how strong you are and take time to relax, be kind to yourself & give yourself care - even if thats just a bath 


    you have people who care and youre important

    i know this can all sound empty when we feel so empty but i mean what i say. 
    i believe in you Natalie
    <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    JamJarJamJar Posts: 274 The Mix Regular
    Hey @NatalieMT

    I have always admired your writing and use of cadence - this post is no different.

    You raise an issue that I have been thinking about a lot recently and Shaunie picked up on it too. 

    Depression is a curious and deceptive foe because its nature is intrinsically to do with how we feel. If you were to tell someone with brain cancer that standing on their head for 20 minutes every day would make them feel better then even if they did that they would still have brain cancer. However, tell someone with depression that standing on their head for 20 minutes every day would make them feel better and that can be very significant because depression is all about how you feel. 

    When we are feeling happy, we might feel like it will never end - even though we know that our emotions will of course inevitably change, as they always do. But because happiness is a positive, there is not a worry present about whether this feeling is going to continue forever because if it did last forever that would not be a bad thing because we would be happy. Of course, that emotion will change and noone's happiness can last forever. But the fact that emotions feel infinite when we are experiencing them is one of the most brutal aspects of depression. 

    I don't know what activities - cooking, reading, walking, swimming, socialising - you find help you to be present in the moment and appreciate the now. But I have written this message just to remind anyone reading that although emotions feel infinite in their experience, they will inevitably change, and it is about recognising when they change. And if possible, trying to find those links between our physical actions that create those changes in our emotions and then maximising the physical actions that maximise our mental enjoyment. 

    Although you may feel shattered and broken, and that the future you will not be the same you had once that you would be. You are showing you are incredibly strong because you are aware, and still communicating about all of this. It can be futile to think "what if" about the past when you cannot do anything to change it. All we can do is accept and appreciate the present, and from this foundation build ourselves into the most contented people we can possibly be.

    We are all here for you and we care about you a lot. You in shatters is still so much stronger than so many people on this planet 💪 keep talking 
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey,

    Just wanted to pop in and say that I hope you are feeling a little better since this post  <3

    Sending hugs,

    Butterfly x
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