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Coping in long distance relationships

autumn_time_teddyautumn_time_teddy Posts: 2 Newbie
in Sex & Relationships
My partner and I have been dating for just over a year and we are in love. We met at university but are about to graduate and are both having to move home due to money issues and will be long distance until we can work out how to be together. This is hard on us both but as i suffer with depression i fear it will significantly impact my overall mental health not seeing them. 
Just need some advice on how to make the process less painful xx
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    KatPlumKatPlum Posts: 10 Settling in
    as someone who's been in a long-distance relationship for a little while now, i find that it helps to chat regularly. for example, my partner and i like to chat on-and off throughout the day on a few different forms of social media. i'm not sure how helpful that was, but i'm hoping that things work out, and you're able to see them soon xx
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    LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Sorry to hear this x

    The good news is that LDRs can work, I've been in one for nearly 2 years now.

    What we do is definitely keep in contact,  we text pretty much off and on all day on WhatsApp.
    We call at night sometimes when we're not busy. 

    And we visit when we can, if you can hack coach's national express and megabus are really cheap and willwill get you very far for a decent price. 

    Plan out time,  figure out when you are free to call and spend time together, send each other cards and things,  and visit if and when you have the time :)

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
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    JordanJordan Moderator Posts: 343 The Mix Regular
    Switching from seeing someone often to seeing them a lot less regularly in an LDR can be difficult, but you can make it work. You could try setting up a scheduled "date night" where you set aside time every week to have a definite time to talk/watch a movie/do something long distance. There are services online that lets you sync up movies/tv series which might help
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    Han93Han93 Posts: 309 The Mix Regular
    Hey @autumn_time_teddy

    I know exactly how you're feeling - me and my boyfriend had to do long distance for a year after uni and it's really hard. But we got through it and got stronger from it and we're now living together so it definitely can work.

    I think the advice everyone has already given is brill - I'd just like to add that planning when we were next going to see each other worked really well for us so if you guys could do that you might find that helpful because you can start looking forward to it.

    I also think Jordan is spot on too - we always set aside time to Facetime and always stuck to it.


    You might find some of the tips on this post useful: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/21-best-tips-making-long-distance-relationship-work.html
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Heyy,
    i agree on what others said. I don't know much about long distance relationships but you can definetly make it work. I think realising that it will be hard is important , as said making time for each other would be good to keep that connection. 
    Do you have anything physical from them to remind you of them? That may help in some way. 


    Also want to say thats its importnant to keep taking care of yourself espsically if feel mental health getting slightly worse. Like make use of your free time too - spending time with just yourself and maybe with friends and family too as well as spending time over the LDR. And hoping when see them you'll feel more connected

    all the best
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    alice123alice123 Posts: 88 Budding Regular
    Hi,

    I have also been in this situation and I have also worried about the impact this has on my mental health. 

    I would just reiterate all the practical points that have already been said - setting time aside to talk via facetime and planning when you would next see each other are both things I have done regularly. Also I agree that trying to connect with friends and family and practising self care are things which may help you distract yourself from the fact that you're apart.

    I would also add, trust your relationship. You sound like a really strong couple and therefore, it may be hard but you can get through it. If you see yourself being with them long-term, a few months/ years is nothing in the span of your life.

    I understand that this doesn't help with your mental health in the short term but perhaps you could use it as an opportunity to try and improve your mental health? This is something I strive to do when I'm apart from my boyfriend - I use the extra time on my hands to cook nutritious meals, do mindfulness mediation and affirmations etc to improve my mental health.

    I hope these suggestions help <3


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