Holiday blues - Trigger Warning

ShamSham Posts: 74 Miniposter
edited June 17 in Health & Wellbeing
I got back from Mexico yesterday morning but stopped at my mums lastnight. I got back to mine this afternoon and I've been with friends for a few hours I then spent some time in my room and I felt like crying. I feel horrible and my friend has just told me since I've been back that she is going to Blackpool on Friday. It makes me upset that I wasent invited. I have been harming myself this evening trying to destroy robots that are in my body. Everything has just come flooded back and I feel awful now. I just want to go back to Mexico. Sorry just a little rant.
Life is'nt worth living.
kathleen0172

Comments

  • kathleen0172kathleen0172 [Inactive User] Posts: 1,456 Fanatical Poster
    Hey lovely <3

    I just wanted to send you a big hug. I'm really sorry to hear how you're feeling. No need to apologise for ranting, it's good to get things out.

    It sounds like being at Mexico gave you a sense of security, and now you're back home, everything's really bad again. Do you know what it was about being away that helped you? Maybe it was being somewhere fresh and new, or it gave you a distraction?

    I really understand how you want to go back to Mexico, and how it would be upsetting that you weren't invited to Blackpool with your friend.

    How have things been since last night? <3
  • ShamSham Posts: 74 Miniposter
    I don't know what it was being away that was helpful/unhelpful.

    I had a shit night sleep, I just couldnt sleep they was too loud and I feel sick🤢 I don't know what it is could be something I ate at the resort, travel sickness or sun stroke, I don't know. I vomitted at the resort and on the way home from the airport too so this sickness has been going on for a few days. I'm barely eating too cause I don't eat when I feel sick.

    I've been trying all day so far and all night to sleep and they are just keeping me awake. I don't think my mind has adjusted to the time difference in Mexico either like 2 nights ago I had no sleep either as we was on the areoplane throughout the night so I am over tierd too😢

    I've got lots of plans for today but I don't feel up to any of it. My support worker should be coming to see me at 2:15, my cpn should be coming to see me at 4 and it's my friends Birthday so I really should go and see her at some point. I want to discharge myself from my CAMHS so I don't see the point in seeing my cpn today unless I tell her face2face but I could just do that over text but I don't know. I'll see my support worker first and see what she says evan though I don't want to see my support worker either.
    Life is'nt worth living.
    kathleen0172
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Yorkshire, England Posts: 227 The Mix convert
    Hello!

    Firstly, well done for reaching out to us here, it’s an amazing thing to do and shows how strong you are 💗

    I understand that it’s hard when you leave somewhere, It seems difficult for you that you wasn’t invited to Blackpool with your friend I can guess that feels quite upsetting and maybe you feel like you are being left out? Xx

    Is there anything that has helped you in the past that you could do today to list your mood a little bit? How has today been for you 💗

    Hugs,
    Butterfly x
  • ShamSham Posts: 74 Miniposter
    edited June 17
    Trigger Warning

    Today has been shit. I attempted to end my life again and I didnt tell anyone and a passer by called the police.

    they ressled me to the floor and put handcufs on me and took me to a place of safety

    I have been sectioned again. Second time for this year😢 I have no idea why I am here!😡 the way some of the police treated me tonight is shocking!
    Life is'nt worth living.
    Butterfly23Aife
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Yorkshire, England Posts: 227 The Mix convert
    Hey hey @Sham

    I am really sorry to hear that that’s happened, and it’s hard to hear that some of the police weren’t as supportive and helpful as they should have been, how did this make you feel so you think? 

    Im glad you are now in a safe place, but I understand that being sectioned is a really scary thing to experience so it must be difficult at the moment. How are you feeling about actually being there, do you feel like it may actually help or not so much? 💗

    Keep is all updated, we are always here too support you,

    Butterfly x
  • StephanieStephanie Posts: 165 Moderator
    edited June 18
    Hey Sham, :heart:

    Just wanted to send you some hugs, so sorry to hear about what you are going through, we care about you and we are here for you.

    It's positive that you are now in a safe place, and hopefully you'll get some support. :heart: 
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" 

    - Albus Dumbledore 
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