Losing my mind

Jellyelephant

i feel like I’m going insane. Between my Nana’s health worries and my smear test and college work I am sooooooo stressed and anxious. My skin picking has got very bad, I’ve been drinking more, using codeine to calm myself and my care co said I am hallucinating which is just fabbbbbb. I keep feeling bugs crawling over me and seeing people randomly when they’re not there and seeing my name appear in places where it’s not there. My ptsd is kicking my arse since the smear, having flashbacks and feeling disgusting and self harm. All my college work is due tomorrow and Thursday and I haven’t done it yet so gonna have to do an all nighter. 

Hdjdjfiak just want want to scream and smash everything up 

Former Member

Hey lovely,

I'm really sorry to hear how things are right now It sounds like it's incredibly rough for you. I understand how you feel like smashing everything up and that you're going insane.

It sounds like you're feeling really bad, stressed and overwhelmed. Would you say that's true?

Keep fighting and staying strong Jelly, sending a big hug

Former Member

Hey Jelly

Sorry to hear how you're feeling,it's positive to see you reaching out for support here though, we care about you

Could you talk to your tutor about maybe getting an extension on your college work, just for some extra time, or some support? 

Have you spoken to anybody else about how you're feeling?

You say about taking codeine to calm yourself, how would you feel about trying something else to try and help calm yourself? Do you have any interests? 

We are here for you Jelly

How are you feeling today?

Jellyelephant

Hi hi guys thanks 

things are going from bad to worse. On top of everything else yesterday the DWP told me they are reassessing my benefits and I am scared that if they take them I can’t pay to see my therapist anymore. I saw my GP this morning and she said that my blood test results show my liver level had increased a lot and it was bad. She said they will redo the test in 6 weeks and it needs to come down a lot by then. So I have to reduce my drinking by a LOT. I am so stressed and scared and overwhelmed and I don’t know if I can do all this. 

Former Member

Hey Jelly,

This does sound overwhelming, it's understandable that you're feeling this way. I can really how distressing things must be for you right now. I'm sorry that you're so stressed and scared

 

Do you know of anything that could help you cope, also with reducing your drinking, such as some distractions or calming things? Maybe you could run to relieve tension, scream into a pillow to let it out, take a nice bath to calm down?

Both of my parents are on benefits, so I understand your fear x

You truly can do this, you have so much strength, and we'll be here with you throughout everything

Lots of love x

Jellyelephant

Thanks Kathleen ur so kind 

Am struggling majorly with the alcohol. I spoke to my old alcohol worker on the phone today though and he has made me an appointment to see him in 2 weeks as he is off next week and he said we can talk about how I’m doing and a plan to work through this and stuff. He said I can get back into their service without needing my care co to do another referral which is good. 

I have been trying to tackle my debts with the help of my keyworker though. She showed me how to call the companies and tell them about my mental illness etc and see if they will help me and not charge for while im getting help with debts. So I rang one myself and explained what was going on and they have put my case under a “specialist support team” which apparently they will help me now and I don’t have to deal with the company any more. So I assume that’s good. 

Currently having a  melt down tho COs my rapist added me on Facebook 

Former Member

Hey there @Jellyelephant I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much at the moment though it sounds like you're taking some really positive steps towards getting the support you need. Definitely sounds like you're on the right track for taking care of your debts and hopefully your meeting with your alcohol worker in a couple of weeks will go well and he'll be able to help.

You mentioned that you're having a really rough time at the moment because your rapist added you on Facebook and I think it's completely understandable for you to feel upset in such a situation. Is there any way for you to remove them or block them completely from your Facebook account?

Be sure to keep us all updated with how you're doing and if there's anything we can do to help!

Former Member

Hey Jelly,

I can’t sense that you are feeling really overwhelmed right now 💗 I’m glad that you have spoke about your alcohol problems, hopefully that support will help you and will maybe give you some relief. Sometimes tackling one problem can help with everything else I find, I believe in you 100000% Jelly. 

Its understandable that you aren’t feeling too good as your abusers added you on Facebook, that must be really difficult for you 😔 so I'm sending so much love and support your way right now xx

I’m always here and I hope things begin to improve and settle down soon 💗