TW - hospital

Former Member

So, I haven’t been feeling good, early hours Thursday morning I spent hours sat on my bed just crying, I woke up and that’s how I felt. 
I dropped Darcey off at nursery the Thursday morning and spoke to my GP over the telephone consultation, we spent ages talking.. anyway my GP made me appointment to go and see her the same day.

Between the time of the telephone consultation and my going to see her in the day, I had a cold in the morning, what felt like a cold and a sore throat, which had gone progressively worse! I had tonsillitis for the first time 2 years ago which resulted in quinsy, not sure if anyone’s ever heard of it but it can be life threatening if left untreated as it can cause the inflamed glands to the back of your throat to close up completely, resulting in your airways being blocked. I had to have a tonsillectomy a few months later to clear it all.

I went along to my appointment, the first thing she noticed was a change in my voice since speaking that morning, my speech had become hoarse, my neck was all swollen at one side and I was sweating / had a fever, she checked my throat and told me quinsy has come back and that there looks to be infection in the tonsil area that she considered maybe despite the tonsillectomy it may not have all been caught. My GP said it’s my bodies way of telling me to slow down, how my daughter needs her strong mummy back, and how she was going to catch up with me when I’m better to schedule some appointments in with me.

I was rushed through to the ENT department, where I had been admitted to on Thursday until this afternoon. 

Have IVs of steroids and antibiotics, have not eaten in 3 days, the first time I’ve eaten anything is this evening, that itself was so painful. The consultants saw me explained how serious this was after examination, they’d explained to me how the access/quinsy was so close to closing up, they have had to incise and aspirate the abscess when I arrived, which they have managed to do.  They asked whether it hurt through the procedure I felt nothing, numb. They asked how long I’d been having a sore throat and pain for, I’d explained it got worse that day, but I’d been unwell most of the week, whether my emotions had taken over it all and I felt numb I don’t know. 

One act of kindness and of time taken to see me probably saved my life, I’ve felt so scared not because of what’s been going on with me, the quinsy ect but because I’ve been separated from my daughter and missed her terribly, she’s been looked after by my cousin, but could risk passing anything contagious to her, I’m home now on antibiotics and steroids, I’ll get to see her tomorrow, I miss her terribly. 

I’m even more lost and feel more confused than I felt before, I didn’t feel scared until the consultant explained the severity of it all then it hit me how my daughter could have been completely on her own in this world. 

Im ready to talk, to say what I need to, night tonight I’m tired and the only thing on my mind is I want to see my daughter. I have since getting home ordered her the Minnie Mouse bed that she loves for her to wake up to Christmas morning, I lovely soft and pink carpet to match. Purposefully Christmas because I have to be here to see her. 


Do things happen for a reason? 

Siena

Heyy Natalie. Sounds like youve had a tough  few days with your physical health. Inflammation of the throat does sound like it could be really dangerous. Glad youre safe at home now and will see your daughter tomorrow. Def something to look forward to. 

You said you feel lost and confused - i can understand your questioning on why these things happen. Just want to say its really great you know your needs and wants and your priorities. It sounds like it was eye opening for you and that youre grateful to be alive? Would you agree?  Could be wrong but was the sense i got. 

Take care
x

Former Member

I went in hospital thinking well this may be fate until 2 days passed, not much improvement and then the consultant explained how serious it could have been, genuinely knew I wasn’t feeling great but not expecting that, then missed the little one, was a bit of an eye opener. Felt lost without her and everything was too quiet without her if that makes sense? The house is quiet now.

But I know confinement period asked consultant is 3 days from the course of IVs and what I’m taking now, so will be fine tomorrow, still rough but looking forward to waking up to life tomorrow morning.

i don’t even care about work right now, I’ll go back on Monday. But just doesn’t have the effect it usually would on my, I feel more laid back. Need to maybe wrote everything down here between now and later tomorrow and look at new focuses. I know my GP was concerned I went with an wifely different issue and came out with this so was a bit side tracked by it all, bit feel reassured my GP will help me with it a bit more.

I’d say I am kore optimistic than previous, maybe it’s been the time out I’ve needed but under different circumstances, a break in a weird kind of way or my body’s way of shutting now to a hoot so I’ve had no choice but to listen to it :-/

Thanks for hearing me Shaunie xx

Former Member

I guess I know it’s psychosis when my
physical self separates from my mental self, both have been apart. 

Former Member

Hi @NatalieMT

From what you've said, it sounded like you had quite the scare. It sounds like your doctor was very observant.  I understand from what you said you are more optimistic than how you felt in the past

It sounds like you are really missing your daughter, it's good that you will get to see her tomorrow.
 
Are you planning on getting in touch with your GP again?

You say you want to write down everything and look at new focuses. What sort of focuses did you have in mind?

Glad to hear you are on the mend and safe now. 

Aoife

Hey @NatalieMT

I'm really glad to hear you're safe and doing okay now

I can't imagine how scary this was for you. It's really lucky your GP took the time to book you in for an appointment that same day. It really does show that one act of kindness can save someone's life. 

You mentioned that you're ready to talk. I just wanted to say when you're ready to share a bit more, we'll all be here to listen. I hope you've had a lovely day being back with your daughter today. It sounds like it's been really tough being away from her for so long. It's really sweet you've ordered her the Minnie Mouse bed, she's really going to love that! Try and rest as much as you can and take the next few weeks slowly

Former Member

I was on the telephone consultation begging my doctor to help me, telling her I didn’t want to be here anymore was the purpose of that call.

That went from that to her seeing me and then this....!

My GP made me promise to do something which would assure her that I will be here for the foreseeable, the trip to Disney next year and the bed for Christmas which won’t be delivered until Christmas Eve has assured of this. I never want to worry or cause worry, I get to such a desperate stage where I’m not safe within myself my thoughts aren’t so have to reach out for little ones safety.

I’ve decided to go back to work tomorrow for normality/distraction. I Don’t know.

i don’t feel numb with emotion right now or manic. I feel open and ready to risk judgments to take a risk and say it all. should I PM a post across incase of editing ect? And the spoiler icons I have no idea! 

Thanks 

💖

Aoife

Hey Natalie, 

How are you feeling today? 

It's really positive that you're feeling ready to share a bit more with us. We're all here to help you through this Natalie

When you're ready, you can drop The Mix a PM and we'll help you put together a thread with some spoilers  

Former Member

Thanks, once little ones asleep I will. 

Xx

Former Member

Hey,

I know this was posted a few days ago but I hope you are doing better today 💗it must have been really hard for you x