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ITS NOT MY FAULT!

sozforhappysozforhappy Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
I'm extremely sick of my parents telling me off for having a go at my siblings when they made me be like that. Like when they're teasing or insulting me or saying stuff against me and I tell them to shut up or so much as tell them to stop or be quiet. They deserve my rudeness and anger if they treat me like that so it's unfair that they blame me when it's not my fault. I don't want to hear that they don't make me have a go at me and it's my choice to react that way and it just makes me as bad as them, if they deserve my anger they deserve it no questions. My parents don't listen when I explain it's their fault and not mine and how they made me angry and fire at them. I bet they just want to let my siblings get away with the situation because they're younger and blame me because I'm older and know better and I mustn't be so hard on them. I'm terribly sick of being the eldest and having to be the example whether the situation is my fault or not

Comments

  • StephanieStephanie Moderator Posts: 1,083 Wise Owl
    Hey :heart:

    Sorry to hear how you're feeling, it's positive to see you posting to get some support, we all care about you :heart:

    Is there anyone else in your family who you could talk too about this, or somebody who could help you talk to your parents about how this is all making you feel? 

    It's understandable that you feel angry towards them, do you have anything you could do to try take your mind of this? Something to help keep you calmer, do you have any interests? 

    Also here at The Mix we have a helpful article about siblings, could be worth a read 

    https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/family-life/siblings-survival-guide-3300.html

    We are here for you, :heart:




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  • SophiASophiA Posts: 59 Boards Initiate
    Hey 

    Being an older sibling myself, i know how annoying it is when it feels as though your parents always take your younger siblings side. Have you discussed with your parents how you feel, how it seems like they always take your sibling side? 
    have you tried separating/ taking a time out from your siblings when they start to annoy you? This might prevent the situation from escualating?

  • sozforhappysozforhappy Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    SophiA said:
    Hey 

    Being an older sibling myself, i know how annoying it is when it feels as though your parents always take your younger siblings side. Have you discussed with your parents how you feel, how it seems like they always take your sibling side? 
    have you tried separating/ taking a time out from your siblings when they start to annoy you? This might prevent the situation from escualating?

    I mean like in situations where I can't possibly escape like at the dinner table when I'm taking too long to get the food and others have to wait their turn, or like in the car and a topic against me or whatever is brought up
  • alice123alice123 Posts: 88 Budding Regular
    Hi @sozforhappy,

    Thank you for sharing this, I completely understand how it can feel unfair when you're getting in trouble for something that you don't feel is your fault. Alongside the previous suggestions of finding a way to calm yourself down and taking time out (however I understand that this is not always possible), I was wondering whether you talk to your parents when you are calm? You mentioned that they don't listen when you try and explain your side of the story. Could that be because you are angry in that moment?

    It is totally understandable if this is the case but perhaps it would help if you sat them down at a time where everyone is calm in order to address your overarching feelings about not being listened to with them?

    If you decide to give this a go, i'd love to hear how you get on. 
  • SophiASophiA Posts: 59 Boards Initiate
    Hey @sozforhappy

    How old are your siblings? sometimes when they are young they just go through phases of being very annoying, however they should hopefully grow out of it. It sounds as though you are not around them all of the time but there are obviously times where they are unavoidable, are there any time when they aren’t as annoying or do you know of any activities you guys could do together, without them annoying you?
  • sozforhappysozforhappy Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    SophiA said:
    Hey @sozforhappy

    How old are your siblings? sometimes when they are young they just go through phases of being very annoying, however they should hopefully grow out of it. It sounds as though you are not around them all of the time but there are obviously times where they are unavoidable, are there any time when they aren’t as annoying or do you know of any activities you guys could do together, without them annoying you?
    My brother's 16 and my sis almost 11. It's mainly my bro who gets on my nerves and gets me in trouble by making me angry, mostly in those mentioned situations where I can't avoid. I don't really care at all about being close with him, we used to fight loads when we were young. And of course my parents never listen when I say getting rude and confronting him is his fault and he deserves it. (Of course he doesn't do it as much now but still every once in a while).
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