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Pregnancy Anxiety!!

whiterabbit7whiterabbit7 Posts: 9 Confirmed not a robot
I'm 19 years old, and I'm currently 15 weeks pregnant. The baby was unplanned but my partner and I are both happy about it now. I'm excited to have my baby, and I already love them so much.

But I'm so stressed and sad and I hate my job, I was planning leave but now I have to stay so I get maternity pay. I'm so happy but also so sad. I can't afford a baby, and I'm scared my mood swings are going to scare off my boyfriend. I'm very anxious about giving birth and having a newborn, and sometimes I'm so anxious that I can't leave the house. And whenever I try to go to work, I panic and it makes me sick. Or I make myself sick because it's the only way to get rid of the nauseous feeling in my stomach.

Why am I like this?! I'm so excited to be a mum, why do I have to ruin it for myself by being so sad all the time?

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    chubbydumplingchubbydumpling Posts: 487 Listening Ear
    Hi there @whiterabbit7

    First of all, congratulations! Do you know what you're having yet?

    It's definitely normal to be stressed. I'm sorry that you're stuck in a job you don't like, but maybe try and think of it as a stepping stone to the job you really want. You said you're worried about being able to afford a newborn. What is your boyfriend's financial situation like? Raising a baby is a two-person job, so maybe sit down with him and discuss your concerns. You both have plenty of time to sort out the logistics before the baby comes. 

    You say you're experiencing anxiety as well- I'm really sorry to hear that. Those feelings can absolutely be amplified by pregnancy but it also might be worth going to your GP to talk about it. Being a first time mum is very stressful, and there's lots of support out there to help you deal with your mental health. 
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    coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    Hi There, 
    Thank you for sharing. It is great to hear you both feel happy - big congratulations :smile: :heart:

    It sounds like you are feeling quite overwhelmed at the moment, but I want you to know you are not alone and there is a lot of support for you. I agree with @chubbydumpling's comment that raising a baby is a two-person job, so this is a really important question to have with your boyfriend. But also, there is a lot of advice on Family Lives around available support for young parents. Perhaps you could have a look through there and let us know what you think?

    In terms of worrying about scaring off your boyfriend, communication is key :heart: Mood swings are a very normal part of pregnancy; and although they may be difficult, this is a chance for you to work together to get through a little challenge. If you are having these worries it shows you really care - so perhaps voicing these worries to him will be reassuring for the both of you. 

    And in terms of anxiety, your GP might be a really good place to start to get the support you deserve. You are really not alone, and things do get better :smile:

    Your feelings are normal - you are not ruining anything. You are showing so much strength already, and you really do deserve to feel supported. Take good care x

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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster

    Just want to say congratulations :) I'm wishing you, your partner, and the baby all the best.

    It sounds like you really have a lot of concerns and stress going on, would you say that?

    I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. Remember that you're not alone, and there's a way to work around things <3 About your job and the money situation, I just wondered if there are other jobs you can get, short or long term? And do you have any friends or family who could help out with costs, or I don't suppose there's a benefit you may be entitled to?

    Sending big hugs,
    Kathleen <3
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    Han93Han93 Posts: 309 The Mix Regular
    Hi @whiterabbit7

    Congratulations - what exciting news!

    I can completely understand your concerns - it's going to be a big change but also a wonderful one. I've been having a look and it seems like your anxiety is quite common.

    Mind have written a good piece about this on their website: www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/perinatal-anxiety/#.XORBvS2ZNPM 

    Maybe have a read through and see if there is anything useful there.

    With regards to your moodswings and your boyfriend, I think @chubbydumpling has got it on. Sit down and explain how you're feeling. It will really help to release some of your worries if you just talk about what's stressing you out. I also think this communication will help with your financial worries too.
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    SophiASophiA Posts: 59 Boards Initiate
    Hey @whiterabbit7

         Congrats! That’s such exciting news! But i can understand the stress and worry that comes with it. I’m sure your partner has similar concerns and worries, are these something that you can/ have discussed with him? I’m sure he knows that the mood swings are all part of the pregnancy and completely normal.
    I can only imagine the cost of a baby but would definitely going on the hunt for second hand bargains, people often get rid of their baby stuff for next to nothing so might be able to save on things like prams, cots, clothes etc. 
    I’m sorry to hear that you dont enjoy your job, but this can be very temporary and something that you are doing for the baby, and once you have had it and starting work again, you can look at something you might enjoy more. 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,610 Skive's The Limit
    Congrats on your news:)  hope all goes well  

    I can hear you're feeling really stressed out. It is really good you are acknowledging the realistics of things and how you feel. Sometimes that's the most important thing we can do. 

    What has helped you in the past or helps you now with your feelings of anxiety? 

    Being pregnant is really stressful time, all of your feelings are valid and deserve support so I hope you feel well support by family and we are hear to support too
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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