"Be grateful for what you have"

Former Member

I'm really pissed off with people who make me feel bad about moaning and I should be grateful cuz others have worse situations than me and would love what I have. Like saying I'm lucky to have a family and a home when my parents and family and other people are forever telling me off and nagging me and having high expectations on me and get on my nerves, and saying they wish they'd get told off harshly by parents too if it means to do anything to have a family and a home to go to. Definitions of a "perfect life" differ from person to person, no one should be making me feel bad about ranting and being angry and unhappy no matter how bad their life is compared to mine. They're only saying that because they've never experienced such events before but once they do experience them they'll realise how really hateful it feels to be treated the way I do. Why should I be grateful when people especially my family are horrid to me and for other stuff I don't like, it's hateful to be grateful! I just want to move away from them and only see them occasionally and hardly have anything to do with anyone.

Former Member

Its not about people having worse than me, I just want all my problems to stop asap!

Former Member

Hey @Past User

I completely agree with you!

I think its important to be grateful for what we have and to recognise that in a lot of cases we are lucky, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't have the right to complain!

No matter who you're talking to, there will always be someone who is worse of than them.

I can hear how difficult your relationship with your family is, but well done for being brave enough to share this.

Take care 

Former Member

Hi there @Past User 

I totally agree. People will always tell you to be grateful and apppreciative of your life no matter how bad it gets, as a way of shutting down your very valid complaints. Pain isn't a competition. It literally doesn't matter if someone is experiencing something comparatively 'worse' to you- your problems deserve recognition. 

I'm sorry that your relationship with your family isn't showing sign of improving but you're very strong to keep going. I know it's hard to stay positive but there are lots of people here to listen and support you  

Former Member

Plus when I say that I wish I had or didn't have something and the other person says if I did/didn't have it I'd wish the other way around. Like I wish I had my parents had me a bit younger age cuz young parents are less strict and sharp-tongued and overprotective and I'd be closer to them cuz they'd be more relatable with me and understanding but other people who have young parents say they abandon them and aren't around when they need them and are financially irresponsible etc. Well let's say my parents had me in their very late 20s and they've been super strict and raised me with harsh discipline and hard words and are emotionally overprotective and highly expectant even now I'm grown up and being told I should be grateful for that when they treated me unpleasantly and I don't want to be protected like that, I'm not a little kid, and they're worrying in the interfering emotional way is just so annoying! Also I see other people with young parents being pretty close to them and can tell them anything and are not as conscious of their emotional state or what they do all day unlike me with mine (not that I care at all about being close to them by how they've been treating me). I don't want them to be there for me unless it's really urgent, that's the point. Or when I say I wish I was the only child and my siblings were never born but someone says if that was so I'd wish I had siblings. Hah well I pretty much enjoyed the first 3 years of my life when it was just me and then my brother was born and ruined everything.

Former Member

I can understand a little of where you're coming from, @Past User. My parents had me in their late 30s/40s. My mum died when I was too young to remember her, and my dad just turned 70 this year so it's really hard for me to relate to him as you can imagine. I've never really shared my problems with him or relied on him much. 

I don't know if this helps but I just want you to know that there's a lot of people here who can relate to you and empathise with your situation