Lonely

Former Member

I’m 22, still living with my parents, unemployed, single, and lonely.

I have struggled for around 6 years now, depressive thoughts have become a part of my everyday life, but I’ve never been brave enough to talk to anyone about it or get help. This is the first time I have reached out for any type of help.

Over the past year or so, things have gotten much worse. I’ve lost all my friends, I recently finished uni and am struggling to get a job, and I’ve never been in a serious relationship, which I’ve recently realised that may never happen for me (I’m not very attractive and guys don’t tend to look twice at me).

I tried to open up to my parents once, they were very sympathetic when I told them, but since then it’s been forgotten, like they want to forget I have these thoughts.

I don’t know where to turn anymore, sometimes life seems to be getting better and I feel like I’ll get through it, and then next minute I’m back to being low and having the thoughts back again.

I can’t go out anywhere anymore without feeling shit, and like I’m bringing everyone down around me. I go very quiet when I start to get these thoughts, and people think I am being rude, or as they say, ‘she’s in a huff again’.

I need guidance on where to go next, I know I need to do something about it. I just want to be excited to get out of bed in the morning and excited for what the future holds, instead of feeling like my life is over at 22.

I know it all sounds very dramatic. I think a lot of the time people think I’m just overreacting to things which is why many people do not understand what I am going through. Any advice or coping mechanisms would be much appreciated, I just don’t know where to turn anymore.  

Former Member

Hey @Past User

I'm so sorry to hear about this:( It sounds like you're struggling a lot. It doesn't sound dramatic at all. I'm glad you've joined, and we're always here for you x

I really hear you on wanting to be excited to get out of bed, for what the future holds. For what it's worth, I think that's totally possible, and the fact that you want that shows you still have some kind of hope and dream.

I've been scared to seek help myself, for various reasons. Do you know of anything in particular that makes you not feel brave enough? When it gets to a certain point, it can be hard to get by on your own, and a lot of people can benefit from professional help

I haven't really found anything that's helped me long-term, sadly. But some things that can help me cope in the moment include music, exercise, writing about how I feel, and keeping busy. Others have said they find mindfulness or meditation helpful.

One step at a time can help get you where you want to be. It can be helpful to try to remember that there's no huge rush, and that everything will work out okay - trust me.

Hugs

Former Member

Hi Ras96,

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. It's really good that you have reached out and I am so glad you feel comfortable to reach out for the first time here.

You said you feel like this sounds dramatic and people think you are overreacting. I hope you know that isn't the case. People tend to unfairly overlook mental health and the way we feel. You aren't being dramatic or overreacting and it's important to place the same concern for your mental health as people do on their physical health.

It sounds like you aren't sure where you can go for help, but you want to reach out to someone to get help. The Mix runs a helpline that is open 7 days a week from 4 pm to 11 pm. They can talk you through what is going on and provide some organisations that might be able to offer you further help. If you want to reach out the number is 0808 808 4994.

Sometimes reaching out and verbally talking to someone can be hard, so The Mix also offers a live messenger service that offers the same support as their phone line.

What you find helpful is down to you. Please let me know if these resources are helpful for you if not, we can work together to try to find something that is suitable for you.