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My preference my feelings my choice!

sozforhappysozforhappy Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
It pisses me off a lot that teachers, psychologists, my parents themselves and even friends prefer I tell my parents my problems instead of my friends or other family. I feel like a baby sharing with parents if I'm like getting bullied at school or had a fight with a classmate/teacher but I feel more grown-up telling my friends. I'm grown up now, of course I don't want to tell my parents everything and be more out there and seek help from different people. Not to mention parents tell you off for using harsh expressions like "pissed off" and "what the hell" and the "bad" things you've been up to whereas friends are totally cool with it. I have my own good/bad definitions, my friends understand they don't want to upset me by getting cross like parents do no matter what I've done and accept my principles. I know parents raised you and have had more experience but is not as if I chose who my parents are and I have friends a bit older than me and I don't see what's wrong telling other people in the family either cuz hello they're family too! I hate the fact that parents are strict and harsh because of love and care, those two things don't go together. I hate people who say its better they fuss and get mad rather than not care at all, they can care in a less annoying and intervening way. And I hate hearing that friends won't stick around forever, friends become can't for God's sake and like I said I have other family member to talk about my problems too like aunts and uncles and cousins. And that I'll always be my parents kid no matter how old I get and according to religion and culture Im still in their responsibility until married so I still have to tell them everything and let them get involved in whatever happens to me and obey them whether I like it or not (especially as I don't ever want to get married, eurrghhh).They don't own me and again I didn't choose for them to give birth to me hence it's my choice who I share my problems with and who I love and hate most in the world depending on their attitude towards me and how I feel about them (to be completely honest I love my second aunt/first cousin once removed more than my parents). I don't care at all to be close to them, they can't force that (unless it's absolutely necessary of course). If you're close and find most comfort with your parents then that's it I respect ur opinion but it doesn't mean I should be like that.

I had a huge argument with my mum about this 4 years ago. It was when I was first diagnosed with mental health issues and they became especially emotionally protective of me. She was the one in the wrong not me. Perhaps if my parents had me at a lot younger age we'd be closer and I wouldn't feel so babyish confiding them and they wouldn't be so sharp-tongued and emotionally protective. Also when I was bullied by my classmates in yr7 and the special needs coordinator who I didn't really like much kept saying I must come to her and my parents nagged me too to tell them when idve rather told my friends in the older years. Caring also means respecting my boundaries on who to turn to and feel comfortable telling.


  • Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @sozforhappy, I agree it's totally different sharing things with parents and friends. Do you feel like you need to tell your parents everything, or do you keep things back now? I tend to be quite selective with what I share with my parents vs what I would tell my friends. 
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • sozforhappysozforhappy Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    I've always kept stuff from my parents especially since becoming a teenager. Whenever I tell them stuff like with my friends they always overreact and become overprotective and dramatic and say I bring problems out on myself and constantly asking if I'm ok when i dont want them involved and worrying like that unlike my friends who stay cool and collected and emphatic remaining "in line" with me when I have a problem. I hate to hear that parents will always worry, I can't stick them worrying in an annoying intervening way like that.
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