love and relationships - i am feeling very down as i love him :(
I have returned after going through a very hard time with my parents and finally regained the strength to come back on here! I thank you all so much for your support, and i am so sorry I had been away as I just felt really anxious and was very very sick. I have been thinking of you all through it and sending my blessings, though you may have not gotten a message from me you always have my support.
Basically i joined a software training course and met this man who i fell in love with, i am 19 and he is 30 years old, but we both have the same maturity and i just find him handsome and i really like his personality. I did not know of his age when i met him, he looks very good for his age and is such a lovely person and looks the same age as me, he looks around 20. I am frightened that you may say the age gap is a problem, i understand it is an 11 years difference but we are both adults and like each other and would not like you to all judge me or him for it. I believe age doesn't matter as long as it is legal and the person is right for you. I confessed my feelings to him on the 2nd of april and he said to me he also has the same vibe and gave me his whatsapp and phone number. I then added him and he scheduled a meal out and a movie with me. i am very shy i get giggly when i speak to him, but he said he finds it cute which was a good sign! I went for the date with him. We met at the train station and he then hugged me and i held his hand and he took me for a coffee. we then watched a film at the cinema and he looked into my eyes and kissed me. we then had a meal together and spoke, there were some pauses as i was shy but we have alot in common and he spoke to me about a second date and paid for me. he walked me all the way back to the station, and hugged me and kissed me and held my hand. he said he enjoyed the date and checked i got home safe but then in the morning i got a text for him saying that he really feels uncomfortable about the age gap and told me im young and have my whole life ahead of me and that being together doesnt feel right at the moment and that he hopes im not upset. he said it may be to do with being in the same training course together. And he said to me he finds me interesting and clever and maybe we could try something after the course finishes (28th april) but he doesnt know. Everyone, i know this is alot to take in and i am very shy about it but trust this wonderful community to support me. I see him daily and i hug him and we text, he told me he has a crush on me also but said we will see what happens. It just kils me because i believe we could have a wonderful relationship and i was wondering based on what he said, is he trying to friendzone me or is he keeping me an option? i truly love him and it hurts, but i told him i would wait for him and that was when he said we will see what happens. I am in a team with him and the best thing i can do is show my kindness and keep on being myself around him, in the hope he sees over the age gap and tries again with me after the course. Also i must add, i whatsapp him dailyy and he sends me winky faces after i compliment him and doesn't tell me to stop, so i think it is a good sign. I felt shocked when he messaged me about the age gap after the date, as when he asked me on a date he said does the age gap matter lily? and i said not at all, it is the person and we are legal and both hold the same maturity so it should be fine. thank you so much everyone for reading this, i hope you can help me as i feel sad and scared after the course finishes i will have lost him, and i truly love him
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