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Your on youre own

NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 125 The Mix convert
edited March 13 in Sex & Relationships
I’ve been/am broken, damaged, hurt badly, innocence stolen/misguided. Humiliated, shamed.
The lies, to make me stand there and justify myself like it was all of my fault, because someone has to take the blame for your actions, & you let me! 
I wasn’t broken enough before but to feel scared because people/strangers won’t believe me, to say out loud the things you did to a child was yso hard, the thing I’ll never forget, the thing that haunts me.
The physical hurt has healed, the emotional scars remain as powerful as they did went it was happening.
The only precious and most beautiful gift you don’t and won’t ever have control over is my little girl - she’ll shine over every cloud you’ve left me with.
She touches my heart more and more everyday, I am her best friend (her words) that’s something you’ll never have!
You can continue to consume my thoughts, control the way I feel about myself with the hatred/fear but my little girl will be FREE! 
I hope you sit in there and think of all you’ve done, I’d hope you feel shameful but then I’ve spent my childhood thinking about you, letting you take not realising I’d be broken by your actions at the time. 
Mill ha e more pose and strength than you’ll ever have! 
Never will you make me feel like dying, never will you take advantage of my mind, never will you hurt my body, it’s all healed and never will you feel the love that I do for my little best friend!

Note from adult me

Comments

  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 The Mix convert
    Hi  Natalie 

    Sorry to read about whats happened sounds like you have been though a lot. It is great that you have talked about your story as it shows that you are capable to battle on and this could help a lot of others to realise that they aren't alone. 

    You are brave and strong to write down and not let things stop you moving forwards. It sounds like you will look after your little girl amazing and will protect her to make sure that she is safe. 

    How are you doing now?

    Rayofhope  :)
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 258 Rampant Poster
    Hi @NatalieMT

    I'm so sorry that you've gone through this. I promise you that you're not broken. Talking about your story, your emotions and your hopes for the future is the bravest thing I can imagine. You are not alone in this. Someone here will always be on hand to support you. 

    Stay strong. 
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