Lost my job due to illness

One-in-a-million

its me again, earlier I was talking about having problems at work and not enjoying it. Well now I’ve lost my job  

I’m not sure how I feel if I’m honest due to the fact I didn’t like it there that much. In a way it was a good thing but in a way it wasn’t. For
1 I hadn’t really got a choice due to the reason for having to leave.
2 I’m now jobless.
3 I’m scared of being classified as unfit for work and
4. It’s made it a damn site harder to get into another nursery.

the reason I lost my job is due to my epilepsy it has become uncontrolled again which I think is due to the stress of not being happy qhere I was. I explained when I first started that the seizures I have do not effect my ability to work. Which is true, however I had an unusual 1 on Monday I was still aweare of what was going on but my speech was slurred and if I’m honest I don’t think I would have been able to carry on what I was doing like I normally can. I was shaking a little bit but I think that was due to panic while having the seizure which made it look 10X worse. 

When it had finished I went into the office and we decided it was best if I leave. I feel awful as this means I’m out of work again which I hate! I know I wasn’t entirely happy there but this is not how I wanted to go out. I knew my contract was temporary and I wanted to stick it out as long as I could.

this also means I have to again with being 12 months clear before thinking about things such as driving. Honestly it sucks its been hard enough getting a job with epilepsy (they don’t admit it but I’m pretty sure that’s why I’ve been turned down for the majority of jobs.)

I feel I’ve let people down including myself. I’ve been College for 5 years to do what I’m doing and what if I’m no longer fit to do the job I love? 

I feel bad but I’m speaking to someone who has a lot of problems right now but I’m feeling crap and haven’t been replying. Not because I don’t care but because I just don’t know what to say and because I’m currently struggling too which I know sounds selfish.

well rant over I guess 

Italia

Hi One-in-a-million

I'm sorry you have lost your job this week. That's a really rough thing to go through, and I am glad you have been able to reach out here. 

It sounds like a really unsettling experience, which you didn't have any control over.   Sometimes not having control over something can be the most distressing part.   Well done for making the decision to leave for the day.  Putting your health first is important.  

You said above you feel like you have let people down including yourself.  Is this about having a seizure at work?   What happened at work was outside of your control.   What you would say to someone else in the community if they were feeling as though they had let people and themselves down with something which they had not control over?   

You also mentioned you have a friend who you've been not messaging back.  This can be a really tough situation, especially if your friend is having a hard time, and you want to be there for them. 
Its okay to say that your not in a space to support someone if you have some stuff going on at the moment.   Most of our friends are more understanding than we give them credit for.  Do you think telling your friend about how your feeling sounds like something you would be able to do? 

Managing work and a long term health condition is a really tricky thing to navigate, so be kind to yourself, your doing well.  Balancing your health and managing expectations at work is not easy, and can be stressful in itself.   Young Epilepsy offer support and advice on their website, and they have a helpline which is open from 9am-3pm Monday to Friday. You can get in touch with them on 01342 831342 if you want some guidance on where to find information bout your rights at work? 

Given everything that is going on your doing really well.  Keep reaching out for support here, your not alone. 

Italia. 

One-in-a-million

Hi thank you for replying, I suppose I feel like I’ve let people down as it means I’m out of work again, it means I’m dependent on my parents again, I live at home and pay board, while I wasn’t working I wasn’t able to always give my dad the money. He’s really understanding and would do anything for anyone so not being able to give him board again is horrible.

 I don’t know why I feel like I’ve let myself down I suppose it’s due to loosing my job but like you say it’s not my fault but it’s just a feeling thats there even though I know I can’t do anything about it.

My friend isn’t a friend I know in my personal life I met her on here, she’s really nice and I don’t know how she will react if I told her. I haven’t ignored her completely but just haven’t really been able to offer her any help and just haven’t know what to say to help.

 I feel like my epilepsy doesn’t normally effect my ability to perform at work but the one they had witnessed was an unusual one and one that looked and sounded worse than what it was. I was well aware of who was there, what was going on and where I was. But I know from others point of view it didn’t look like it. My speech was impaired and my hands were shaking. I don’t fit so I don’t think the shaking was to do with the seizure.

I’m worried about this having an effect on me getting a job in a nursery once I’m back on track. It took a while to get a job in a nursery once having to leave my first job due to not being needed anymore. I found most of the issues came when I had to mention epilepsy (they asked about and medical conditions.)
 I see it immediately I mention epilepsy and they whole body language and voice change. Alot of People seem think epilepsy is just people who fit and shake. It’s much more complex than that. There are many different types of epilepsy.
thank you for thank link I’ll give it a look

thank you