Should I tell my friend about a secret

Former Member

Hi all !

So I'm sure some of you know my story by now but just a quick reminder, about 2 years ago, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believed I lied to her about my psychotic symptoms. I was at that time delusional about her, thus I believed that I lied myself, but I now realize, as the symptoms persist that I, in fact, did not. My girlfriend had at that time, I don't know about now, also psychotic symptoms. To read the full story, go see my other posts. 

Now the dilemma is that my best (and only lol) does not know neither about my nor my ex's psychotic symptoms. When we broke up, my girlfriend told me that she wanted me not to tell anyone about her hallucinations and such. However, I know my friend is mature and respectful enough not to tell anyone about it. She has helped, and is, helping getting through the break up, I believe she deserves to know. However, respecting my ex's wishes is something very valuable to me, I don't think I have ever told anybody about somebody else's secrets. I both believe my ex deserves to keep the secret and my friend deserves to know about it. 

What do I do ?

Former Member

You can only do what you think is best. How would you feel if your ex told a friend about you? But also this friend of yours could help you more if she/he knew the whole story. It's a hard one but it all goes on trust.....how much can you trust your friend to keep it between you? If it's not 100% best not tell. Although If there is a chance you could be in danger by not telling them then obviously you should speak up. Sorry I don't know your full story I will have a look at older posts when I get some time. X

Former Member

@Past User Hi

Thank you for your answer, I decided to tell her, because I believe she deserves to know. I might regret it as I think I might have taken the decsion too suddenly but I will see in the future. Her reaction was very kind and gentle so I do not expect her telling anyone.

You don't have to look at the full story, it's mainly just details, your answer is great and thank you again for answering.

Have a great day

JustV

Sounds like you came to a reasonable conclusion with this @Past User.  

Straight-up secrecy is a very difficult thing to deal with, and people have different views on it. For some people, it's a matter of never telling anybody, regardless of the who or the situation. For others, it's more about not losing control of that secret; they might be willing to tell somebody they trust, safe in the knowledge that person won't pass it on (at least not to anyone irresponsible).

Anyway, just wanted to add some extra thoughts and reassure you you're not a bad person if you do tell her. Glad things turned out well and that you found the solution you needed.