Group Chat: Everything you need to know

TheMix

See also:

• 'Muting' in group chat
  
• Autolinks (full list)
  

Got an hour or two to kill? Want to get something off your chest?

If you're inspired by the latest film release, would like some advice, or just in need of a good old rant about your day, come and join The Mix Group Chat.

What is group chat?

There are two main types of group chats on The Mix - Support Chat and General Chat (usually referred to as SC and GC). Support Chat is a place to give and get support from the group about anything on your mind, and General is a space to relax and have some fun.

Additionally, there are Support Circles every Tuesday. These sessions are a bit like Support Chat, but instead of everyone talking when they want to, each member of the group gets a specific amount of time to talk while everyone else listens and supports (a bit like how you might picture an AA meeting). These sessions usually have around five people, and you can sign-up to the next one here.

We sometimes run expert Q&As on certain topics, workshops, or other one-off sessions. Keep an eye on this forum to find out about those - they're usually announced at least a week in advance.

When is group chat open?

Group chats generally happen from 8-9:30pm Monday - Sunday and are open to anyone aged 13-25. You can find 'join' buttons for open rooms on this page, as well the schedule for the next two weeks. We post announcements in this forum every day to say what sessions are running that evening.

Are group chats moderated?

All sessions will have at least one moderator to help make sure things run smoothly. They're not expert advisers, and most of the support will come from other community members. Read this post to read more about the role of moderators in group chat.

What are the rules?

It's important to be aware of the chat guidelines before entering the chat room. These guidelines will help you get the most out of group chat, explain how everything works, and clarify what you can talk about.

Moderators have the ability to freeze or kick people who do not follow these guidelines.

If you're finding it hard to be around a particular member of the chat, you can mute them by hovering over their name and clicking the little sound icon. This means you won't see their messages. If you do this, please don't announce it as it can make people uncomfortable and cause speculation. Likewise, if you think someone has muted you, don't comment on it - it's not personal. Sometimes we all need to avoid certain conversation topics for our own wellbeing.

Can I give feedback about group chat?

Yes! We love feedback and it helps us deliver the best service we can. Head to this form to give us your feedback, or to have a vent if you need to.

There is a guide on how to use group chat attached to this thread. If you're still unsure of something after giving that a read, feel free to ask the moderators in the chat or comment below.

GreenTea

The feedback form wouldn't work. 

TheMix

GreenTea said:

The feedback form wouldn't work. 

Looks like we missed this one @GreenTea - sorry about that! The forms are working for us, but let us know if they still don't for you.

Mike & the team

Siobhan

Why isn't this properly pinned? It's not at the top. People ask for the feedback form in chat when they use the boards and clearly (presumely) know it's here but just say it to make someone know they're going to feedback about them

Siobhan

(It's moved back now I've commented) it was on the second page

Mike

Are you looking on 'What's New' @Shaunie?

Some discussions are pinned only in their forum and not in What's New, and some are pinned in both. It depends what the thread is but this one in particular is only pinned in Group Chat Announcements.

We could change that, though, if people think it's worth a full pin.

BubblesGoesBoo

I think it need to be pinned everywhere, as Shaunie said it would stop people for asking the feedback form just to let someone know there going to feedback about them...

Mike

Cool, makes sense to me. I've pinned this in the feed view, along with the community guidelines.

If anyone isn't keen on this change for whatever reason, let us know in this thread. We can change tack if the consensus changes or people find it annoying or whatever.

Siobhan

I dont like the use of trigger warning. It tells people this may be triggering. So you prepare yourself. But youre suppose to prepare yourself for the whole chat as anything could be triggering to someone. Weather the way its worded for them makes it more triggering for them as all interpret differently or cause had similar experience or just one word could trigger someone. People writingn trigger warnings or being told to write them are completly pointless because i dont want everything else to seem "none triggering" and like you dont need to prepare yourself. When you do

GreenTea

I personally find trigger warnings helpful, especially in support circle as users say there's a trigger warning and what the trigger could be  for example abuse.
Allows me to step back if I feel the need to 

Siobhan

But many newbies who come won't even know to put trigger warning but in guidelines so they could say anything and you may not of prepared yourself cause no trigger warning. And not in guidelines to put a trigger warning

I personally see the guidelines as a trigger warning in its self. People are coming here cause they're struggling i expect a lot of sadness that's triggering in self and upsetting. So i expect sadness in many forms from many things before coming

independent_

This is interesting because I can see both sides @Shaunie and @GreenTea. If something is very triggering to a lot of people I can see where a trigger warning would be helpful. There are some topics, such as self-harm, suicide, abuse of any kind, discussion of eating, etc which are a trigger to many people and therefore a trigger warning is useful on those ones.

However many of us have different triggers which might not be on the wider list of common triggers. So I also think it’s good to always be prepared in SC for something you read to be triggering, especially if you have a numbber of different triggers.

Siobhan

Yeah theres lots of main triggers like suicide, abuse, eating disorders, self harm, death, which is something most users struggle with atleast one main thing. And a lot of people talk about those main triggers And no one says triggering warning everytime they comment on it if that makes sense. Plus you could just come into the the chat and realise oh someones speaking about abuse. But they warned everyone before hand thats what theyll be speaking about but you joined later so didnt see that warning. If makes sense 

as long as within guidelines i dont think anyone should feel the need to write trigger warning 

Siobhan

Also i thought this was really interesting
but ive said the same things. Most of the time i said it without a trigger warning. But the first time i wrote it with a trigger warning everyones suddenly was triggered because theyre feeing like theyre suppose to be cause making it a build up. And make it a big deal but its within guidelines. Cause all stArt making notes in head as why it is triggering and start imaging it more. Its like "warning theres a puppy in there" everyones like shit why is that a warning than imagine all bad things more rather than just reading it for what it is. "Theres a puppy in there". Thats just my opinion anyway probs makes no sense

Mike

Something being made more of a 'thing' when marked as triggering is an interesting concept.

@Shaunie you're right in that people should ideally come to Support Chat ready to be around heavy discussions, as a general rule. That said, it feels sensible to encourage as much empathy and consideration for others as possible. If someone is about to say something quite intense but not strictly against guidelines (e.g. if it's a less common trigger), it makes sense to give others a heads up so that others in the room can take any precautions they need to take for self-care and it doesn't catch them off-guard. As @independent_ said, there's balance to be had between those two things. It won't be perfect.

From a moderation perspective, using trigger warnings is something we always encourage but it's not something we'll pull people up on for not doing. Long as you're within the guidelines, it's personal choice what you do beyond that and these things can be super difficult to judge.

It's also worth noting that some things you say might make others feel triggered in some chats but not others. That's partly because each chat has a different set of people in it, and also because the mindset of people will change from night to night. What's triggering depends on the person reading it. Reactions and vulnerabilities can change, and it doesn't mean you need to change what you say.

Siobhan

Oooh i see now thanks

bird

Hey, I've spoken vaguely to people close to me about topics that have come up in General Chat, nothing identifiable, just like "we were talking about [x] in a group chat that I go to". Is this alright or should I avoid bringing up anything altogether? I'm really sorry if I've broken any rules

Dancer

@The Mix There is a comment for you from @bird

Ed_

Hey @bird

First up, welcome to the boards, glad to see you have found chat helpful and hope that you find the boards equally useful

It's an interesting question, confidentiality is a really important part of chat, and in terms of our chat guidelines, they say:

Group chat is an anonymous place – I won’t repeat anything I hear in chat elsewhere and I won’t share personal contact details in the chat room.

So it's really important that we don't share specifics that could identify somebody on here, either to those that may know them, or for people to be able to find their profile on here from info that was shared. Sometimes, things that may seem really small can be identifying to the right person, and with anonymous communities, we can never be certain how connected we are to people offline. 

That being said, we do want people to be able to communicate to other people in their support network how The Mix is helping them, and so speaking in general about topics that are discussed is fine. For example, the following is highly unlikely to out somebody through their experiences or through something they said:

"I found The Mix support chats really helpful in talking through self harm" or "We were talking about this film in this group chat I have been using, and there were some interesting points about the film that I hadn't thought of before"

It's definitely good to speak about these things in as general terms as possible, and try to centre them on our experiences of chat where possible. It sounds like the examples you have given are fine and we appreciate you checking in on this

Also, thanks @Kasa2103 for flagging this with us too

bird

Thank you for the reply @Ed_, that certainly makes sense and I'll keep it in mind

independent_

@bird I just saw your question just now and I must admit I wondered about this too and I’ve been using group chat for a long time ahaha so really glad you asked this.

I’ve briefly mentioned chat similarly to how you have before to people - folk know I use the internet and I use it quite a lot so most just dismiss it as some other thing that I’ve done online.

There is one person (my partner) who knows I use group chat and what it is and that sort of thing, but it took me a long time in the relationship even to tell him lol. But other than that one exception I try not to mention it because yes it’s a safe space to me with no one from my offline life in it.

That’s just my insight into that.

Jellyelephant

Just to throw my two cents in regarding trigger warnings. In the general sense I think they are useful like on the boards perhaps. It helps know which threads to avoid if I don’t feel up to reading about a particular topic some days. I do feel it is pointless in group chat though just purely because say bob posts 

“TW I hate rabbits” 

by the time I’ve seen the TW I most of the time have seen the comment anyway so it doesn’t seem like there is any point. I do kinda agree with shaunie that we should expect more “heavy” topics in a support chat though. 

magpie

[deleted post]

Dancer

https://client.chatwee.com/popout/599c194bbd616d8b43891808 Click this and the rooms should open at 8pm unless there are technical difficulties or if it is group chat break (3 times a year where group chats are stopped for a week or two to give the mods a break as the mods are mainly volunteers.)

Zen

Oh @lucyking200 you will have to message The Mix about that

Zen

@lucyking200 Ah sorry about that They should be able to explain why you cant get in 

Dancer

@The Mix Issue above.

Siobhan

lucyking200 said:

Kasa2103 said:

@The Mix Issue above.

Thanks hope they can sort it when I’m just back from break 

Was you on a break for being banned? Sometimes they think they have lifted the ban after the break but they haven’t. Best to message the mix. 

samy123

Not sure where I am on this site 

Zen

@Mike I was just looking at the chat feedback form as was wondering if should be updated a little? There are options for chats which are not currently running anymore and there is no way to give general feedback about chat - it's all very specific (if that makes sense). Just now I was trying to leave some feedback about chat in general but the question were too specific so I couldn't say what I wanted to. Would this be possible?  

Dancer

I agree with you @Eleanor and it is a great point to raise with @The Mix about the feedback form. Sometimes I feel discouraged from filling in the feedback form due to questions feeling too specific and it is sort of intimidating for me. If that makes sense and does not sound offensive.