Think I’ve been spiked

nisha

a couple of weeks ago a guy I’ve known for years rang me at 1 am crying it was his mother’s memory and asked if he could come over, I live with my partner he said he was going to bed and he came over. I have taken coke before so know the effects and how much it takes to make me to get wrecked. He brought some with him I had 3 lines and 4 vodkas at about 4 I was starting to get drowsy which never happens when I take coke, I could feel him trying to touch my breasts I asked him to stop about 6 times and asked him to leave this is the last thing I remember, about 630/700 my partner came into the sitting room saying that he heard me saying how much I love him that we had been all over each other and I had been sucking him off!!! I really don’t love him in the slightest or have any feelings for him like that at all. I still can’t remember anything the guy in question is saying nothing happened not even the touching which I know did happen, I want to know if anyone thinks he has given me something else? I’ve just found out he takes mdma which I’ve never taken so have no idea what it does to you, my mate is a chemist and says it sounds like ghb.My partner won’t listen that I have no idea what happened I have been with him 5 years and have never looked at anyone else never mind when he is upstairs in our own house !!! What does anyone think please 

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babyopposum

Hey I was spiked recently too, I’m so sorry this happened please block that guy! I understand you may not want to call the police but he has committed a crime by drugging you and having sex with you against your will so it is an option for you. I’m not a doctor but it sounds like GHB to me too if it made you do sexual things you wouldn’t normally do. If you can talk to a councillor or therapist about what happened, they can help you and your partner understand what happened and reassure you that it wasn’t your fault, as well as help with some of the psychological effects it may have caused. I’m sorry your partner doesn’t believe you, he is probably very confused and doesn’t understand what was going on. If you can go to a sexual health clinic together they can give you both more information on the effects of GHB and drugging and talk to him too, he may be more understanding if it is explained to him by a proffessional. I hope you are safe now and that guy leaves you alone from now on. The guy is 100% to blame not you. Even if you took coke and vodka you still didn’t consent to sex you did nothing wrong 

Skive

If you had snorted MDMA instead of coke you would have instantly noticed. It would have hurt your nose and has a very powerful taste so I wouldn't think it likely it would be used in a drink. The effect it has is to lower inhibitions and is a mild hallucinogen.  You would also likely have had seen and tasted it if it had been put in your drink. 

Though GHB is not a common drug it often comes as a clear liquid and is quite easy to spike drinks with. Mixing GHB and alcohol can easily lead to someone passing out. Unlike MDMA GHB has no comedown. 

Of course the drug involved most often when people have been taken advantage of sexually, is alcohol.

nisha

I had a vm from someone saying that we had the same issue, when I text she told me  he has done it to to her she went and got tested the next day and had alcohol GHB and cocaine in her system, she decided not to go to the police though, she just said didn’t want stuff coming out to her family that she had done in her past, but we live in a small town so if she had everyone would know 

JustV

nisha said:

I had a vm from someone saying that we had the same issue, when I text she told me  he has done it to to her she went and got tested the next day and had alcohol GHB and cocaine in her system, she decided not to go to the police though, she just said didn’t want stuff coming out to her family that she had done in her past, but we live in a small town so if she had everyone would know 

How are you feeling about your own situation, @nisha? Is going to the police something you're considering for yourself?

Really glad you found someone who could relate - that can be so incredibly useful with these things.

nisha

I can’t really go to the police as my ex text the guy from my phone pretending to be me basically saying that I wanted it and I remember everything, yes I know what a twat he just wanted to know if I was telling the truth, but I have found out you can anonymously tell the police in a third party way and they will keep his name on file in case anyone else reports him, I know not ideal but have been backed into a corner now and it’s the only option I’m left with. I’m such a mess at the minute just feel so low with the whole situation 

JustV

nisha said:

I can’t really go to the police as my ex text the guy from my phone pretending to be me basically saying that I wanted it and I remember everything, yes I know what a twat he just wanted to know if I was telling the truth, but I have found out you can anonymously tell the police in a third party way and they will keep his name on file in case anyone else reports him, I know not ideal but have been backed into a corner now and it’s the only option I’m left with. I’m such a mess at the minute just feel so low with the whole situation 

Fair enough @nisha - it's entirely up to what you're comfortable with. It's important to go at your own pace. Although it really sucks about what your ex did... that's awful. Do you know for sure whether that would affect your case if you did report it directly?

Going through a third party sounds like a nice compromise if that's what you're comfortable with. Have you got a plan for doing that, or are you still weighing up your options?

It's understandable to still be processing what happened and to be feeling low. What you went (and are going) through isn't easy by any measure. You've done really well to get help and chat to us, though - keep fighting and looking after yourself.