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Respecting parents when they don't respect you
Former Member
Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
in General Chat
I couldn't find a religions section so I think I'll just post here.
I extremely hate that my religion Islam tells us to respect parents regardless of how unpleasantly they treat us. Like telling me off and shouting at me and talking in a harsh ridiculing tone for something I do by accident or didn't do and making rules against me and ordering me about and getting involved in everything that happens to me even though I'm an adult now. It's not for my own good if it upsets me a lot. I don't want to to hear that they only want what's best and they're teaching me and care about me. It's not the best if it upsets me and they can care about and teach me in a less mean and annoying way. It's like my feelings don't matter if I can't fire back and say what's in my head when they can, simply cuz I'm the child.
I hate more the fact that your mum carried u for 9 months and went through pain giving birth to you which is why have to respect them no matter what and that mums are three times more important than dads when in some families the mum is stricter and harsher than the dad and the person you're meant to love after God and the prophet is your mother (I mostly hate my mum a lot of the time, she's so authoritative and sharp tongued she never listens when I say what I did was unintentional and accuses me of making a habit of it and takes it out on me for something that's only her business and nothing directly to do with me). I wish we were created outside our parents' bodies instead of inside (as childish as that sounds). It's not like I could help that my parents procreated me and raised me and of course I never chose who my parents are. They're still humans and have every motive to be cruel to me. Hence respect has to work both ways regardless of who the argument is between and what religion says. Islam is totally unfair on this. I don't want to hear that it's a different matter with parents either cuz of tough love. Love and meanness don't go together. Tough love sucks! I honestly can't stick that the "doors to heaven" and the most important people who do loads for you are the most horrible people. It's up to me who I love and hate most in the world, doesn't matter who they are, it depends on how they treat me and my feelings about them. Anyone who lectures me about respecting parents is too well no friend of mine. It pisses me off when people remind me to treat them the way I want my kids to treat me, cuz I don't ever ever want to become a mother! I just want to be on my own, no one bullying me and being harsh and mean and making rules against me and forcing principles on me (I'd basically be treating my kids the way I didn't like my parents treating me. I hate when people point that out too).
I extremely hate that my religion Islam tells us to respect parents regardless of how unpleasantly they treat us. Like telling me off and shouting at me and talking in a harsh ridiculing tone for something I do by accident or didn't do and making rules against me and ordering me about and getting involved in everything that happens to me even though I'm an adult now. It's not for my own good if it upsets me a lot. I don't want to to hear that they only want what's best and they're teaching me and care about me. It's not the best if it upsets me and they can care about and teach me in a less mean and annoying way. It's like my feelings don't matter if I can't fire back and say what's in my head when they can, simply cuz I'm the child.
I hate more the fact that your mum carried u for 9 months and went through pain giving birth to you which is why have to respect them no matter what and that mums are three times more important than dads when in some families the mum is stricter and harsher than the dad and the person you're meant to love after God and the prophet is your mother (I mostly hate my mum a lot of the time, she's so authoritative and sharp tongued she never listens when I say what I did was unintentional and accuses me of making a habit of it and takes it out on me for something that's only her business and nothing directly to do with me). I wish we were created outside our parents' bodies instead of inside (as childish as that sounds). It's not like I could help that my parents procreated me and raised me and of course I never chose who my parents are. They're still humans and have every motive to be cruel to me. Hence respect has to work both ways regardless of who the argument is between and what religion says. Islam is totally unfair on this. I don't want to hear that it's a different matter with parents either cuz of tough love. Love and meanness don't go together. Tough love sucks! I honestly can't stick that the "doors to heaven" and the most important people who do loads for you are the most horrible people. It's up to me who I love and hate most in the world, doesn't matter who they are, it depends on how they treat me and my feelings about them. Anyone who lectures me about respecting parents is too well no friend of mine. It pisses me off when people remind me to treat them the way I want my kids to treat me, cuz I don't ever ever want to become a mother! I just want to be on my own, no one bullying me and being harsh and mean and making rules against me and forcing principles on me (I'd basically be treating my kids the way I didn't like my parents treating me. I hate when people point that out too).
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Comments
I don't know too much about Islam, but I definitely agree with you that respect should work both ways in any relationship, especially one with your parents.
It sounds like your relationship with your parents is quite tense at the moment, especially with your mum because she isn't respecting your boundaries. However, I am really glad that you have come on here to share how you are feeling.
I don't think being mean for something something you did by mistake is productive at all! I hate it when people are harsh on me when I'm already trying my best and it makes it harder to do better in the future in my opinion.