How can you respect your partner’s honesty if they tell you they watch porn?

Aoife

Hey everyone,

How can you deal with feeling jealous or insecure but also respect your partner’s honesty if they tell you they watch porn?

Share your thoughts below  

Former Member

I suppose I can't have much of a say here because I don't feel jealousy really. 

I guess sometimes I can feel insecure but that's overall, them watching porn wouldn't add any more x

In my eyes porn is just porn. 
I don't feel jealous because they'll never get with that person,  at times I can feel insecure but again that's overall,  and if he really didn't like my body and preferred this random woman's then he would be with someone like her and not me but he is with me because we love each other? 

Porn is only problem for me when it takes up your life,  when you can't do daily things because it's on your mind, or when you choose it over your partner. 
The issue is it can be unrealistic and sometimes may give people expectations that can't be met,  but I've rarely seen anyone with these x

Enough Of the rambling sorry 😂

It can be hard if it makes you feel jealous or insecure, but my thoughts are that you should just talk to them about it,  tell them how it makes you feel x
But remember it's unrealistic, and something to do at the time.  sexually active Girls and guys both have urges which are perfectly normal and this fulfills those,  and it's very likely that's it,  just something to do. 
They still love you.

If it takes over their life or. You find yourself being pushed away it's definitely worth talking about, if it's just upsetting you that's worth talking about too x

But definitely appreciate their honesty in telling you because that can be hard

Former Member

I think if my partner told me they watched porn I would feel more insecure rather than jealous!

Often porn can show unrealistic show unrealistic body standards which can make you feel bad. But if both parties recognise this then I suppose it is okay.

I would much rather my partner was honest with me so that we could have an honest conversation if it was making me feel bad.

Honesty is always the best policy in my opinion   

Former Member

Personally, I don't have a problem with a partner that watches porn as long as they know the difference between the fantasy and the reality. I watch porn both in and out of relationships, it's perfectly natural to explore your sexuality and kinks etc outside of just your partner. 

As for dealing with insecurity and jealousy, I think that communication is key here. Be honest and open about why you are watching porn. Discuss the way porn exposes us to unrealistic body standards as @Past User says. Discuss how the porn industry treats its female stars. And always reinforce your boundaries in the relationship. Make sure your partner is comfortable and, if not, talk it out.

Siena

Think important to respect their honesty & deal with feeling insercure by rememebering that Watching porn does not mean they are comparing the porn people with their partners. And remembering porn can just be seeing something sexual to get turned on and nothing really emotional or mental about it or something. 

& Think important to remember that their fantasy does not mean it is what they want in real life.

Like some people like gay porn. But are straight and in a straight relationships but would never want to do anything sexual with same gender. Some want to watch overweight people but dont want that relatinship. But they still hve those sexual desires to want to watch it. And while accepting they want to fill sexual desires that may not be possible within the relationship should be okay and nothing to feel insecure about as they wouldnt be with the you if they wanted something else.

And may have different sex drives so they want to watch porn. And just using it to get turned on. And still have needs if someone else cant meet them. Then it is better than cheating or being left un satifised with their sex life and then being sexually frustated & should compromise and be happy their honest as shows they dont feel is much to hide Cause dont exactly mean theyd rather have the person in the porn vids. 

And like others said. Porn can be unrealistic anyways

independent_

I have experience here and I don't feel jealous, my boyfriend is a 16 year old teenage boy, a lot of them watch it. Has never bothered me. So long as people remember that porn is not like reality, and not all bodies look perfect. It would only get to me if my boyfriend thought porn and reality were the same, which he doesn't. I always appreciate honesty too.