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How can I help my brother???

NuttyDounuts14NuttyDounuts14 Posts: 1 Just got here
in Sex & Relationships
Hi,
So I think my little brother (LB) might be a transvestite, and I was hoping someone here would be able to give me some advice on how best to support him.
He keeps stealing my mum's and my clothes and wearing them in his room. We've both made it clear that we don't care if he wants to wear feminine clothes, just can he stop nicking ours please. We've tried to suggest shopping trips to get him some stuff of his own, but he gets really defensive about it and clams up.
I found more of my dresses in his room, so I'm going to suggest looking at online sites tonight (I think his problem with the shopping trip is what if people he knows see him?)
But how can I help him without him feeling pressured to come out and to let him know that it's okay to be himself and that we'll always support him?


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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster

    First of all it's really nice to hear he's got your support bud. It sounds to me like he's feeling pretty self-conscious about it. We unfortunately live in a society where we have all these gender-stereotypes and expectations, which def shouldn't be the case, so I understand he may be scared of judgment and possibly ashamed.

    Maybe try to have an open discussion with him about it. Let him know that feminine/masculine clothing is just a construct, and that he's awesome. Try to encourage him to talk so that he can voice any confusion or concern he might be feeling, just ask "how are you feeling about this?". Just try to be casual and calm and supportive, I think that's one of the best things you can do.

    I think suggesting looking at online sites is a good idea :) Also just dropping in an idea, if he is feeling scared to be himself, perhaps it could be more comfortable for him to slowly start dropping feminine things into his outfits? For example, first he could wear a feminine necklace, then a more feminine top, and so on, until he feels confident enough to wear dresses or whatever he likes.

    Sorry if this was no help lol, wishing you all the best either way.

    <3

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Aw you sound like a really good sister. 

    have you thought about maybe buying him a dress similar to yours - for him. So he gets a dress/peice of clothe that he hasnt nicked from you and its also telling him that you accept it and support him & may encorage him to be more open to you and would show that its okay and you want to support 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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