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I think it is time to tell my Muslim parents that I am a Christian.

MoZMoZ Posts: 1 Just got here
How do I tell my family that I am a strong beliver in Christ. I have grown up in a Muslim family who pushed Islam onto me. Then when i was 16 I started to discover religion for myself (secretly) now i know that i am a christian but fear being disowned if i come out. Also i know that everyone will blame my dad for letting me go to Univeristy and this will have reprecussions for my sisters and cousins. 
If i was financially independant i would.come out as a Christian easily. But i am not. 
I have people telling me not to tell my family but this is hard as then i have to act as a Muslim around then and honestly because i have not read namaz in so long i have forgotten how to pray like a Muslim. 
And others who tell me that my parents will stoll accept me but they have no idea how a pakistani muslim family functions.... ,(a family where culture and religion are heavily intertwined) 

Any advice would be appreciated. 

Thank you so much x


  • ArianaAriana Posts: 193 Trailblazer
    Hmmm this is a really tough one! I assume that lying and telling them that you've turned atheist instead to get out of having to do the Muslim prayers wouldn't be any better?

    I feel like parents should accept their children, whatever their beliefs, but I know that religion is a really powerful thing and that it's not something people can easily compromise on. I'm not really sure what to suggest, but I do hope you find a way to move forward with this without too much stress and conflict.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Hey, sorry to hear this. I understand how this must be really hard and tricky for you <3

    I'm wondering if you could first, kind of test the waters with them to get a sense of how they'd react? Maybe you could make a non-muslim/religious sounding comment, or you could pretend that you're just losing a bit of faith and tell your parents this in a concerned way?

    It's hard. You obviously don't want to keep living a lie, but telling them could lead to your family disowning you :/

    You mentioned not being financially independent a problem - is it an option to wait until you are to tell them?

    Out of curiousity and to see if I could find any helpful links for, I googled 'how to tell your parents you're not muslim' and I found this forum: http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=3ej53idgiblkkia8a4rcan0q93&action=forum Not sure if it would be helpful, but thought I'd link to it just in case - you could maybe ask for advice on there and hear of similar experiences!

    Best of luck xo

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,289 Skive's The Limit

    I think it depends on your parents to know whether to tell them or not and how to tell them. Im not muslim myself. But When i was more socialable i used to have lots of muslims friends & realise they can be very stricted on their religion. And some parents care but not so stricted as some. Have they given their opinions about other people who are brought up in muslim relgion but change? Maybe could ask them in some form? 

    You definelty know your parents more than we do ah so maybe think about how youd imagine them to react. Because you dont want to end up being disowned and homeless or something. Though if you think its time to tell them then think should & say it in a way/ time that feels most comfortable. i do believe parents should be happy that their child is happy about their relgion no matter what the religion is it and maybe they would be hurt by it but will come to terms by it ? But if you dont think thats the case then maybe dont tell them - and dont see it as lying - see it is youre under their roof and should follow their rules while there?  And then when finacally stable you can telll them? 

    But obviously ulitimatly is up to you and think you know the answer to this more than someone else could answr for you & wish you the best
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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