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Stuck in a tunnel on the train

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 86 Budding Regular
in Health & Wellbeing
Hey

I've had depression for a while now, well I have BPD. BPD, to me, feels like being on a packed tube during rush hour. It's all cramped at one minute but then the next stop so many people get off and I can breathe again. Truthfully I've never been as stable as I am now because I've really changed my lifestyle. I have hobbies, work, friends. But today I feel low.

One thing with BPD is difficulty with relationships. I have a crush on a real guy and the last time that happened I got overly obsessed and it was horrible. Think Crazy Ex Girlfriend if you've seen it. I'm scared this will happen again because this guy is not datable due to our ages and honestly not each others type. I've turned into a teenager again lol.

I just wanted to vent my anxieties and explain what BPD is like. I'll probably get over it soon but right now I feel like I'm on the worst train ever.

Skye

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Hey

    interesting to hear how BPD feels like for you. I read today that there are 256 combinations to BPD which was interesting at how differently can affect people.  I have BPD and i Understand the unstable relationships part. But It’s great that you feel you have found some stability in your life. Which does show you have learnt ways to manage your emotions better so maybe you can apply that to other aspects to your relationships. I’ve learnt some ways to manage my emotions that I learnt in dbt, like making pros and cons list, problem solving and mindfullness and just thinking before I act/speak has helped a lil bit with my relationships 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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