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If only I'd said it
Former Member
Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
It's so aggravating when I think of what to say in an argument or conversation after its over. Especially in situations where I'm being told off and in trouble and saying what I needed to say could have saved me. Like when I got told off for being late to class in college cuz I went to the toilet and the teacher said I had the whole of the previous free lesson to do it when I had study support at that time so I couldn't go. Or when I got into big trouble for racking up charges on my credit card and my parents were extremely mad at me and shouting and talking harsh and I should've told them to quit being so horrible and the whole thing was an accident and unintentionally. And just before when my mum told me off for ignoring a call from a strange number cuz it may have been from an apprenticeship I applied for when it was a number from outside London and I never applied anywhere there and I should've pointed that out to throw her off my hook. Im so terribly sick of how the brain works, making such situations so overwhelming that I can't say what I wanted, in case the person thinks I'm talking nonsense and being ridiculous or just wouldn't listen. Or my voice comes out in mouse squeak or the person acts like they never heard me or just don't want to hear me.
The whole reason I rant off about my problems is so they stop. I know you guys can't stop my problems exactly but at least say some stuff that makes it feel like the problem will stop. I hate hearing that no-one can remove the situation or it's hard to answer my questions or there's practically no way to fix how the mind and actions work or its normal and everyone's like me. Even professionals in my life didn't try to stop my family being annoying and just said I had to control my emotions and reactions which simply wasn't enough. And I really want this issue of not being able to say what I wanted to say in interactions to stop, and for my brain to make me say it automatically no matter how overwhelming the situation is.
The whole reason I rant off about my problems is so they stop. I know you guys can't stop my problems exactly but at least say some stuff that makes it feel like the problem will stop. I hate hearing that no-one can remove the situation or it's hard to answer my questions or there's practically no way to fix how the mind and actions work or its normal and everyone's like me. Even professionals in my life didn't try to stop my family being annoying and just said I had to control my emotions and reactions which simply wasn't enough. And I really want this issue of not being able to say what I wanted to say in interactions to stop, and for my brain to make me say it automatically no matter how overwhelming the situation is.
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Comments
I can TOTALLY relate to this, it's the most annoying thing thinking of what you could have said after an argument/discussion has taken place. I can get caught up in the moment too, for me it's with emotion, and feel like I get a brain block which stops me from even being rational. I have tried a technique that my dad taught me which is simply just counting to 5 in your head before replying when being told off/starting to disagree - I find this sometimes helps me get my thoughts back.
Have you tried anything like that?
- Lucy