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Self Harm And Feeling Empty

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 2 Newbie
edited December 2018 in Health & Wellbeing
Recently going through a breakup knowing my parents and best friend are majorly ill with a life threatening heart failure and a comback of numonia a lot has happened really recently.

My issue is that I feel numb I can say I'm fine now however when I'm upset I can no longer cry and it annoys me beyond lengths, I feel I go empty.

If I put it this way I want to cry be upset breakdown but instead I'm sitting there with nothing, and when your upset your not happy and because I can't truly be physically upset that when I get problems.

I self harmed once while in this mood I'm trying to keep myself occupied but im worried about how long I can before I need to be or am upset then feel empty again. I instantly regretted self harming waking in the morning not realising how stupid it was. 

I'm just wondering how people coped with this and if anyone else has felt the same way ?
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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited December 2018
    Hey 

    sorry may not be helpful. But have felt similar and its okay as we all feel things differently to different situations- have you got anyone you can speak to? Maybe going to see your gp? 

    I sometimes feel empty and it can make you feel like self harming to feel something other than feeling empty. And sometimes feel if im not physically crying then i must not be in emotional pain. But is weird how sometimes ‘emptyness’ hurts so bad & feel so heavy - its real & is there. and you shouldnt have to feel like that and am sorry you do. I hope youre able to find some other healthy way to cope. Maybe finding distractions, doing some mindfullness stuff of like mindful breathing. But definetly maybe speak to someone you trust
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 2 Newbie
    Hey Shaunie,

    thanks for replying , I'm unsure about GP now as I worry for self harm and how much it could affect my university course and also time. It is also all still pretty new to me but I just feel I struggle when upset now and am unsure how to wind myself out of the slump.

    I tried distractions but I fear it will just prevent me for a while today I did manage to stop myself by visiting a friend. but I just wait for the day I lie there needing to be upset in bed and worry what I will do when feeling that low.

    I just don't know if it's mental or just me being too strong and maybe it's a backlash from the breakup I'm really unsure.

    As for talking to people I tried a few friends who accidentally found out I forgot and I normally wear sleeveless shirts. But they don't really know what to say they try, but I just feel it's a difficult one.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I guess it is really hard to know what to say to a friend who is self harming:(

    you could try alternative self harm. Which is like doing this that like shock your system and hurts but not in harmful way like holding ice tightly in your hand and having cold showers. I dunno if thats something youd try?

    why do you think it would affect your uni corse? Its hard thing to go through alone

    I hope youre managing to stay safe 

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    Hi 
    sorry this won’t be much I’m still half asleep 😂

    inknow whats its like to have parents and close family in- i lost my nana to come csncer  few years back and seeing them I’ll and not knowing what to do is the hardest part but you have to understand that everything will be done for them and fingers crossed they will get better x

    Going to your GP takes a lot of courage I know that it took me a lot of attempts of ringing then putting the phone down but trust me going can really help as the GP have access to a few services your might not be able to.

    speak to your university wellbeing team there should be one there and see what they have on offer it could be counselling or just someone there to have a chat to from time to time or support from an external services 

    for me and a friend we found when self harm urges get a lot we paint Or draw on our arms , could be Litreally anything. 


    I hope things get better for you and everyone on here is best to support you 

    Aimee 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 193 Trailblazer
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User I'm sorry you're finding things so difficult at the moment. I started self-harming when I was a teenager and it's a really hard habit to break once you get into it. So strange as it sounds, I actually think it's quite positive that you regretted it in the morning because that means you've still got that self-preservation instinct that you can use to try to stop yourself doing it again. I can also really recommend an app called "Calm Harm" that you can download from Google Play. It has lots of different things you can do when you feel like you want to harm, like distraction, writing about your feelings, doing something creative, games, etc. and it walks you through them all until you feel calmer and safer again. 

    Talking to someone about your feelings is definitely a good idea though. It doesn't have to be about the self-harm itself (a lot of people find that scary and don't know what to say about it), but about the feelings that led to it in the first place. I think it's quite natural for us to feel a bit numb when such overwhelming things are happening in your life. It's like your brain sort of turns your feelings off in order to protect you. But letting them out to someone you can trust, having a good cry, or even writing some of them down if that feels easier, can really help too. I hope things start to feel a bit easier for you soon.
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 193 Trailblazer
    Also just to add, my uni are actually quite supportive when it comes to mental health and all unis should have a student counselling service or similar, so worth looking into what your uni offers. They see mental health problems like self-harm all the time, so there's no way it should affect your course or be discriminated against and if they know about it then they can usually put some support options in place.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 86 Budding Regular
    *hugs*

    Sorry that things are so rough for you atm. Wish I knew the right things to say, just know we are here for you <3

    These feelings will pass with time. When I used to feel this way or feel guilt, I would blow and pop balloons to deal with the aggression in me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 5 Confirmed not a robot
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User
    Just wondering how you're doing this week?
    Post edited by TheMix on
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