Things Got Kind of Weird with my Housemate
Right now I'm feeling kind of awkward and anxious about something that happened last night. I went out drinking with a friend I've been living with for a year and things took kind of an unexpected turn.
As a bit of background, we met on the day we first moved into university and I guess we kind of stuck together because we didn't have many friends and didn't want to do everything alone. We lived in the same accommodation and we spent a fair amount of time together, but we're both pretty introverted and shy so it could be kind of awkward and I never really felt like we were that close. This year we moved into a house with two other girls who both lived here last year.
Last night we decided to go out for a drink while it's Fresher's Week. We both got quite drunk and were more confident and talkative than usual, so we both ended up admitting that we're bi. I admitted that I had been having problems in my relationship as my boyfriend is a lot more physical than me, and we met him at the SU and she admitted that she thought his actions were a bit creepy and that she wouldn't like them either.
I think we left the bar just a bit later than we originally intended and we took a drink for the road. We then carried on drinking when we got back. We decided to play a drinking game and ended up playing Never Have I Ever. This lead to us mainly talking about relationships, and we basically just admitted that neither of us are really that experienced in certain ways.
Things got kind of hazy after a while because I was pretty drunk, but I think she mentioned something about not really thinking of us as friends. She kept asking me what I thought of her while we were talking about relationships, and I remember trying to skirt around the questions because I felt like she was trying to see if I had a crush on her or something. At some point she took her trousers off, and I did the same shortly after because I was covered by my shirt and by blankets anyway and I felt like my trousers were making me cramp. I brought up the time I accidentally walked into her room while she was half-naked, and she commented that she didn't really mind.
We ended up cuddling on the sofa, which is kind of weird considering we had never really had a lot of physical contact with each other before that moment. At some point I joked that I'd struggle to walk up all the stairs to get to bed because I live in the loft room, and she suggested that I stay in her room as her room is on the ground floor. We ended up sleeping next to each other and I know that she was cuddling into me at some point. I got woken up earlier than I wanted by my alarm because I was too drunk to set it properly, and not long after I rushed to the bathroom because I started having these stabbing pains in my sides and felt like I was going to throw up (although I didn't in the end). I had to leave not long after I got up so I didn't really see her this morning other than to quickly say hi and to get the stuff that I left in her room.
I just feel like the friendship has gone further than I thought it would. I really never expected us to end up doing something like this from how reserved we seemed to be around each other before. The worst thing I did while we drank together before that was sing a really annoying song, so I definitely didn't expect us to both randomly take our trousers off together. I'm kind of scared to talk to her now in case things are awkward, but even if I manage to avoid her all weekend, we go shopping together on Sunday anyway.
Sorry for the long post. I just had to get that out there because I've been feeling kind of embarrassed about the whole thing and it's gotten me down today.