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Frustrated and Stuck.

EyepatchEyepatch Posts: 666 Incredible Poster
Im trying to find a house to live in with my partner, and a job. And I have a huge deadline for my MA soon. Im trying to do one thing at a time, balancing it all and giving myself sometime too. But its just slowly becoming too much. Ive applied for loads of jobs and feel really crap because one of them offered me an interview but it was on my moving day back home and neither of us could change dates. 

Right now Im stuck in the attic of my mums place, sleeping on a mattress on the floor and surrounded by storage boxes. I can't unpack anything because there is no space and when I try to ask my mum for help she tells me I'm too naive to get a house of my own. She acts very patronising and when I tell her how she's making me feel she just says 'you don't feel that way', like she somehow gets to decide that too. 

I need a job to get a house and I need to live somewhere else to get a job. Mums house is in the middle of nowhere and public transport here is a mess. Im scared I won't get my essay done in time and that I will be stuck in this attic for ages. I haven't been sleeping or eating right and Im worried about everything. I also was really sick recently and just kept working anyway because I had too, so I think I've lost weight and still don't feel like I've recovered. 

Im glad I have a roof and food, but its just so cramped, dusty and full of bugs up here. I really need to find a job. I got a first class degree and almost have a masters, why is this so hard? I feel like everything I worked for at uni isn't useful right now, I just want to give up. Every job I applied to felt like it didn't matter because I wouldn't be hired anyway. 
"Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 

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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @Eyepatch,

    Sounds like you're going through a really rough time at the moment and I can relate having graduated not too long ago and getting rejected from probably about 30 jobs before I got one. It's exhausting and it's demotivating, but it doesn't mean you won't get something eventually. Is the company that offered you an interview able to do it on a different day? 

    I hear you that you're not sleeping and eating, that's not good, but it's not surprising seeing as it sounds like you are feeling really anxious about your future. I know we always bang on about self care on here but it's so important. When was the last time you took a long bath/binge watched a TV programme/went for a run or did something you enjoy? Remember you are living in the present, it's not sustainable to keep living in the future as it's so uncertain. 

    I think the best thing to do is to focus on one thing at a time and if you have a huge deadline coming up, try and put your energy and attention there? I know it's hard when there are a million 'adult' things to worry about too. Sending hugs <3

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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    EyepatchEyepatch Posts: 666 Incredible Poster
    @Lucy307
    Thanks :)
    Unfortunately not, I was going to have another, different, job interview but accidentally hurt my leg and so couldn't go, they needed someone active and because of my leg decided it was best to find someone else :( I felt so stupid and disappointed so I just applied to almost every job I could find. 

    I did get a job with another company recently, its not really what I want to be doing but it involves helping people so I think I'll enjoy it :) Plus, its one less thing to worry about. I haven't had time to relax for a while as my calendar is totally stuffed, but hopefully after I find a new place to live it will get easier. Im still not eating much, I did treat myself to some new clothes though and was commissioned some artwork so that will be fun. Im not going to start them until my essay is all handed in, its about 60 pages now and I'm pretty happy with it so hopefully I'll get a good grade. 

    Thanks for helping, 

    "Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    edited October 2018

    Hey 

    What degree did you get and what job are you looking for? (If dont mind me asking) Sometimes have to be really specific in job searching with qualifications and obviously need to emphasis more about skills and stuff more than the qualifications    Ive heard lots of people get stuck after uni or even still not sure what they want to be doing - so i wouldnt feel stupid

     But is great you have a job in helping others. Even if not what was wanting - I hope you enjoy it and find it rewarding 

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    EyepatchEyepatch Posts: 666 Incredible Poster
    @shaunie
    Sorry I took a while to reply, I have a degree in design focusing on sequencial Illustration. Like comics, books or storyboards. I have got a job now helping with broken down cars, it’s not exactly what I wanted but it will pay my rent. I found a great new place to live and will be moving next week which is great as I now have something to look forward too. 

    In my spare time I still do commissions with design and try to work on my comic and book whenever I can. So it’s gotten better since I made this thread. 

    Essay ended up being 80 something pages haha 🤣  
    Thanks for taking the time to write back to me 

    "Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 
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