Frustrated and Stuck.
Right now Im stuck in the attic of my mums place, sleeping on a mattress on the floor and surrounded by storage boxes. I can't unpack anything because there is no space and when I try to ask my mum for help she tells me I'm too naive to get a house of my own. She acts very patronising and when I tell her how she's making me feel she just says 'you don't feel that way', like she somehow gets to decide that too.
I need a job to get a house and I need to live somewhere else to get a job. Mums house is in the middle of nowhere and public transport here is a mess. Im scared I won't get my essay done in time and that I will be stuck in this attic for ages. I haven't been sleeping or eating right and Im worried about everything. I also was really sick recently and just kept working anyway because I had too, so I think I've lost weight and still don't feel like I've recovered.
Im glad I have a roof and food, but its just so cramped, dusty and full of bugs up here. I really need to find a job. I got a first class degree and almost have a masters, why is this so hard? I feel like everything I worked for at uni isn't useful right now, I just want to give up. Every job I applied to felt like it didn't matter because I wouldn't be hired anyway.