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Thoughts about Suicide.

Maddi0712Maddi0712 Posts: 2 Literally just got here
Im Maddison and im 14. I've never been able to get help because i wasn't seen as a 'serious case'. It was early days when i asked for help. Me and my mum went to the doctors to seek some therapy or a group but we wanted to avoid medication so i did not take things to change the way i was. if you get what i mean. I have always been a victim of bullying seen as i would help people and in return they would be very nasty and for some reason happy i was in mental pain. I am also, in result of all this, very anxious and get very mixed up so sorry if this is a mess. 

I was cyber-bullied and bullied in school. I went to seek help from teachers and the people that were meant to deal with this stuff. The answer i would get would be to "ignore it" or "move away from them in class". This never helped so it went on and on and i just learnt to live with it, which lead to fake smiles and saying i was fine to every concern that anyone had. My grades went down, i fell asleep in classes because my sleep was affected and didn't sleep till 3-4 in the morning. I don't think i saw any of my family for a good few months, i said hi and bye but i spent most of my time in my room. 

My mum finally noticed and got in touch with the school and they blamed it on me, because i hadn't reached out for help and apparently there isn't bullying in that school which made me laugh because bullying is everywhere but it depends on how you deal with it. 

i eventually moved school and the bullying stop but the mental health situation got worse, i started thinking about how maybe things would be better without me in the picture. I made a friend who was like myself and she became like my sister and it got better until she moved back to my old school and joined it and spread a lot of messy rumours and did things that she knew would hurt me and i had a breakdown and i poured out to my mum that i was suicidal and i thought about it a lot and have tried to but i could never do it because of how selfish it would be. 

She pointed me to this website and this is my say introduction i guess. i have missed out a lot so i won't drag on but i hope this will help me. :)
ShaunieAifeEyepatchTheAprilFool

Comments

  • EyepatchEyepatch Smol Bean Posts: 666 Incredible Poster
    Hey Maddison, 

    Sounds like this has been going on for a long time, remember its okay to reach out the the mix helpline or Samaritans helplines whenever you feel you need to. And well done mum for showing you the Mix :) 

    Thinking about suicide is something many people do when under stress, you can always come here when you need a space to talk about your thoughts. If you ever do get to an extreme low point its a good idea to move away anything that could hurt you and stay with other people until the thought subside. Bulling is everywhere, I agree with you there, if you look on the school website by law they have to have an anit-bulling policy, you can then tell them they are breaking the law by ignoring your case. 

    Some forms of bullying are illegal and can be reported to the police These include:

    • violence or assault
    • theft
    • repeated harassment or intimidation, for example name calling, threats and abusive phone calls, emails or text messages
    • hate crimes
    I got this from the Gov.uk website, so you can feel safe calling the police if it ever gets to the point where you feel the school is doing nothing to help. There are also anti-discrimination laws if you feel that the teachers are ignoring your case for any bias they have against you. It can be scary, but if the school won't help then you can call for a higher power, like the school board or the police. They won't put your teachers or bullies in jail (unfortunately) but they can fine the school or effect its reputation. It might help to tell your teachers you felt scared to come forward about the bulling, its not your fault you didn't say anything, its part of a schools responsibilities to make sure that students are safe at school.

    Another thing you can do is make a formal complaint in writing to the headteacher, write a letter and photograph it before posting it. You can also write a letter to the school’s governors or academy trustees. Writing letters often helps people to see how serious you are about the situation and can be a wake up call for those who don't see the problems you are facing. You can find their names on your school website and address the letters to the school.

    It seems like whats happening at school is effecting you at home too, please reach out for help whenever you need it. We are here for you, and as someone who was bullied and never spoke up, I don't want you feel like your stuck. Time changes everything, you can pick a collage for after school and make new friends there, your life is worth continuing. Keep living and see what comes next, you might find something amazing just around the corner.

    :)
    Stay Safe,
    Eyepatch 
    "Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 
    Millie2787JellyelephantMaddi0712
  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,722 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Hey, welcome to site

    im so sorry. It makes me so sad and angry to read about bullying. Please know there is nothing wrong with you but says a lot more about them. <3 you seem lovely. I hope this site can help you <3

    Im so sorry this has got you feeling so much pain & desprate that you think about suicide:( - is never the answer, doing your best to stand up to the bullies are though. & i hope youre able to consider doing the things @Eyepatch has mentioned.  its completly wrong and disgusting for the school to do nothing. also could maybe think about going back to your Gp and trying to seek some help & outlining how much this is affecting you and that you think about suicide? With the help of your mum? And if not, maybe try another doctor. Though It sounds like your mum is really supportive which is great,

    take care
    XX
    .
    Maddi0712Eyepatch
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